


Colorblind

by orphan_account



Series: Colorblind [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Colorless!AU, Fluff, Hide is a tiny bit yandere, Hide is in love, Kaneki is clueless, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Surprises, Touka is...Touka, just a sad love story I guess, pretty fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5938585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.<br/>But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.<br/>The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.<br/>But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.<br/>At least, that’s what’s destined for me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Student

We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.

But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.

The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before. 

But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.

At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

 

We were born with only a few months separating our age, my love and I. I was born first, put out into this dark dismal world, knowing it as my only world. I lived happily in it, the only world I’ve ever known. So I accepted it as that, but always held a special hope in my heart that one day, I’ll come to know a new world, one with everything but dark colors. One with everything that I’ve been missing.

I want to see the colors.

The colors that come when you look at your true love, the one who can set you free from this damned tedious world, and set you free into a new one. I want to be in that world, with that someone who’s destined for me.

I’ve wished on stars, and I never stopped believing that one day, I’ll meet that person, and we’ll be happy together, set free in our own world.    
That was my only wish, that was my happy ending to my own little fantasy, my fairytale.

But not all fairytales have happy endings.

 

It happened when I was twelve, and the teacher brought a new student into the class. I had been busy with my assignments, too busy to look up and notice the shy little boy facing the class, face hidden behind black hair as he stared down at his feet. The teacher announced his name as Kaneki. Kaneki Ken. 

Then I looked up.

The sight hurt my eyes at first, it was so sudden that I had to look away, but when I finally looked back, I saw it. The new world that everyone had been buzzing about. The new world that would set people free from our muted state. I saw it. It took my breath away and made my heart go so fast I was afraid I would have a heart attack right then and there. My stomach flopped and my hands began to shake so badly that I dropped my pencil with a loud gasp. I covered my gaping mouth with a tremulous hand, and gawked at the lovely, absolutely breathtaking image in front of me. This boy titled as “Kaneki Ken” opened my cage and allowed me to gaze upon this alluring image before me, setting me free.

I watched as Kaneki Ken was guided by the teacher to his designated seat, just a few desks away from mine.

I was raised well, and I knew it was rude to stare, but I couldn’t help it. This sight set before my eyes was too precious. It almost felt surreal, as if I was not seeing something like this, as if my very eyes were not worthy of gazing upon something so beautiful. I watched with a bright face and opened eyes as Kaneki fumbled with a small book that was strangely littered with random assortments of dots here and there.

But that didn’t distract me. 

Redirecting my gaze back to focus on Kaneki Ken, I noticed that the vivid colors surrounding me weren’t the only beautiful things here. Kaneki Ken had long black hair surrounding his face and forehead, nearly covering his somewhat-dulled..?- deep black eyes. In contrast to the regular dismal black I’d been forced to stare at for the past twelve years, the black eyes of Kaneki’s were by far the most beautiful thing. Kaneki Ken had a nose as a button, and a faint smile spread across his lips. I watched as his finger trailed gently along the pages of his book as he read. He seemed frail, gentle. As if a gust of wind would carry him away.

The room felt dizzy, and I was soon overwhelmed with such a sense of joy, I guess my own head couldn’t handle it. I closed my eyes for a moment, and felt as my head slammed onto the top of my desk, on my unfinished assignment. Everything turned black, just as I had been used to seeing for years, and I allowed myself to slip into an unconscious state.

 

It was dark when I woke up.  _ Hah, big surprise there.  _

I came to my senses, taking in my dull surroundings.

I was stuck inside the nurse's office, the nurse tapping away loudly at her computer, pulling up my records and contacting my parents about my recent disruption in class today.

“Excuse me, Miss?” I called once I was able to use my voice. It was as dry as a desert, cracked and worn.

The nurse turned around in her chair, judgmental gray eyes scanning my body up and down, possibly searching for any physical bruise that she might’ve missed.

“Up already, hm? How are you feeling, Doll?” She asked, her voice sweeter than honey, a tempting sound in my ears. She rolled over to me, taking my gray wrist into her dull hands, placing two wrinkled-from-age fingers against my pulse. I didn’t answer, waiting for my analysis.

“Your pulse seems normal. Are you feeling alright? Headache?” She pressed her hand to my forehead and smiled, shaking her head. 

Without allowing me to reply, she stood up and handed me my already packed backpack, and stood me up.

“You seem good to go, you’re parents are waiting for you at home.” She said with a bright smile.

You see, that’s the thing about my parents. No matter what the occasion, what the circumstances, they’ll always tell me to just grow up and walk it off, to do what’s expected of me. They give no consent for my personal well being, all they care about is money and making sure I don’t make them look like fools. I’ve learned to live with it, just as I’ve learned to live in a dismal world. But things were different now. Things were going to change now forever, so long as I can be with Kaneki Ken, to have him open up that vast new, yet unexplored world, just waiting to be gazed upon once again.

Such a thought was enough to fill me with determination. 

I smiled at the nurse and thanked her for taking such good care of me, then scampered out of her office and down the hallways, towards the nearest exit.

I began my journey home, noticing that the brilliant gray sun had began to set over the even grayer horizon.  _ I wonder what color the sun really is…  _ I thought to myself as I continued to wander from familiar streets, on my usual route home. I grabbed at a loose strand of dark hair.  _ I wonder what color this is… _ I thought, beginning to ponder all the things i have yet to see, to  _ truly _ see in this world. I looked around me, taking in the ever-so-boring surroundings. Tall, gray buildings, dark streets, pale grass, taking note of all possible things I had yet to gaze upon.

Suddenly, a thought came into my mind that caused me to fearfully stop in my tracks.

_ What if Kaneki Ken didn’t see the colors? _

My heart began to race at the possibility. I clutched my chest, my eyes growing wide with curiosity. I had to know if he felt the same thing. I had to know if this isn’t one-sided, like Mom had warned me about as a child.

Horrid thoughts flooded in from all directions. I shook my head, pulling myself back into reality, and continued on my walk home, figuring I’d ask Kaneki Ken tomorrow at school. Surely he’d be there. 

I glanced at the sun setting over the sea as I passed by, confusion shown on my face. I hadn't remembered seeing something so dull look so...beautiful. Vibrant. Like nothing I’d ever seen before. 

Realization hit me like a speeding bullet, and I began looking around frantically. If I was able to see this world, then that means Kaneki Ken must be nearby!

My search was cut short when I spotted the dark haired boy residing upon a grassy hill just overlooking the glistening ocean shining proudly with spots of vibrant sunlight catching its waves. I sprinted to him, and raced eagerly to his side, my curiosity growing. I glanced down at him for a moment, his eyes seemingly glued to the ocean laid out before him, paying no attention to me.

“Hi!” I called out. 

Strangely, Kaneki Ken looked to the opposite side of where I was standing, then looked to me, as if correcting himself.

“H-Hey…” He said shyly, his gaze averted from mine. I placed myself beside him, eyes trained solely on him, and him alone, despite the lovely world laid out before me.

He had long black hair, more beautiful than the black I had been so used to seeing. He wore a pale ocean-colored sweater, decidingly a great look for him.

I raised my hand to shake his, and gave him a friendly smile, tilting my head, watching as Sun-colored hair flopped into my vision.  _ So that’s what my hair looks like…  _ I thought, but shook my head and averted myself back to Kaneki Ken.  __ “My name’s Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide if you want.” I greeted, my tone light and peppy.

The boy ignored my outstretched hand, his face growing a bit pink. 

“I-I’m Kaneki Ken…” He spoke, his voice lovely, but barely above a whisper.

I retracted my hand, looking (and feeling) a bit defeated.

“Kaneki Ken…” I said, trying the new sound out on my tongue. “That’s too long. I’ll just call you Kaneki. Is that alright?”

Kaneki smiled in acceptance, gaze returning to the ocean, giving a small nod, one I almost failed to notice.

“So, Kaneki. I um… I had a question.” I said, jumping straight to conclusions, my curiosity growing too big to handle. I suddenly found the shimmering grass below me quite interesting.

“Hm?” Kaneki replied, again avoiding my gaze, a look of confusion spread across his face as he awaited my question.

“Today, in class, d-did you see... _ it... _ too?” I asked, referring to the colors. I found it hard to put my question into words. My throat closed up as I saw Kaneki turn away from me, from the ocean, the Sun. His hands balled into fists in his lap, his knuckles turning white from gripping so hard at his skin.

“Hm? What’s wrong, Kaneki?” I managed to choked out.

“Hide… i-it’s very sweet of you t-to come and speak to me, a-and I’m sure you didn’t know this,” Kaneki swallowed hard, and I waited eagerly for his reply.

“B-But...I’m blind.”


	2. Blooming Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.  
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

“Y...You’re…?” Breathing suddenly seemed impossible, as air got caught in my throat and I choked back the tears that sprang to my eyes. Shivers creeped up my spine and time seemed to move in slow motion, and it suddenly stopped, evil thoughts clouding my mind.

_ He’s not the one...He can’t see the same thing...I’m going to be alone. I’ll never have someone to love or a family of my own  and I’ll- _

Kaneki stood in front of me, and I finally saw it. His eyes...They were such a lovely shade of black. The most beautiful shade I’ve ever seen, despite seeing that horrid color all throughout my life, this black was far different. Although, it seemed to be shaded, clouded, seemingly glazed over with a certain haze, that I concluded, was the cause to his blindness.

I stood up with him, trying my best to find compatible sounds to create a somewhat comprehensible sentence. “S-S-Sorry...I didn’t-...I had-...I mean…” I cleared my throat in order to push down the lump forming in my throat, and looked up to see Kankei smile, which initially brightened up my mood.

_ Oh my God this guy is too cute... _

“It’s alright. I-It’s-...I mean you didn’t know.” Kaneki said in a somewhat failed attempt to reassure me, but to little avail.

Words still seemed impossible at this point, and due to my lack of response, Kaneki decided to speak again.

“I’m sure you meant no harm by it.” He said with a tilt of his head and a grin on his lips, and I instantly found myself falling for this boy- this boy I had met just a few hours ago! If I didn’t believe in love at first sight before, I sure as hell did now.

The ever-so vibrant sun began setting over the ocean on the horizon, creating such a breathtaking Sun-colored setting encasing Kaneki and I.

Noticing I hadn’t spoken in awhile, I decided to swallow my pride and say the first that came into my mind.

“It’s getting pretty late, don’t you think?” My head was swimming, running and racing and pulling me in circles until I could hardly even think straight. And then it dawned on me…

...School let out around three hours ago, so why isn’t Kaneki home yet? Was he waiting for his parents to come pick him up? What was he doing all the way out here? And by himself? 

I noticed a blush of embarrassment creep onto Kaneki’s face, as I awaited an answer.

“I-I missed the bus...A-And I thought I’d try to walk home, b-because Mom will get mad if I’m not home soon…” His voice was shy, and seemed to trail off. “...But I got lost…” He said, his voice almost a whisper and I swear right then and there my heart did a backflip. This side of Kaneki- this shy, embarrassed, side of this boy-was almost too adorable for any normal human to handle. The way his cheeks would tint with pink, or how his voice quivers, or how his hands desperately busied themselves gripping at the bottom of his sleeves, walking stick held close. My heart fluttered a mile a minute, and breathing suddenly became more difficult than it already was.

I smiled as big as I could (even if he couldn't see it…),and spoke up, silently praying that my voice would hold out. 

“I could walk you home. What street do you live on?”

“Y-You…?” Kaneki looked as if he was about to cry, and I had to fight the urge to hug him right then and there. “I live at the end of Anteiku Avenue. I underst-”

“Hey I know where that is!” I quietly apologized for my interruption, but I couldn’t quite contain my excitement. “It’s right down the street from my house!”

A big smile showed itself on Kaneki’s face, and it seemed as if the whole word got ten times brighter from this one smile.

“R-Really?”

“Yea!” I said, eagerness and excitement bubbled up inside of me. “Come on, let’s get home before the sun sets.”

“Yea,” Kaneki replied, “Let’s go home.”

And with that, the two of us began our journey home. The walk there was quite interesting, and despite such a beautiful world around me, of which I could now gaze upon in full color, I couldn’t seem to peel my eyes off of Kaneki for a second. We made small talk, talking mostly about our likes and dislikes. I dared not to ask about his personal life in fear of making him uncomfortable in any way. Kaneki was hard to read, I couldn’t tell if he was faking a smile or what he was feeling inside, and it made me frustrated that I didn’t know anything about him. So I made it my goal to protect Kaneki, to give him somebody to fall back on if he truly needs it. I was to make sure I knew everything- every little detail- about this boy. And I was going to make sure nothing stood in my way of that goal.

I couldn’t help but notice the way Kaneki’s eyes lit up so brilliantly when I brought up the subject of books- his smile seemed brighter and bigger, and his eyes glistened with interest. Regardless of the exuberant world around me, I found Kaneki’s smile, his eyes, brighter and more beautiful than any other color in the world, and it became a sight I soon became addicted to. I listened intently as he went on and on about some author he loves named Takatsuki Sen, and about how her new book would be released in the upcoming month. The excitement was visible in the boy’s eyes.

“...And her way of writing is-” Kaneki stopped abruptly as he tripped on the curb leading to the house at the end of Anteiku Avenue. Acting quickly, I put my hands on his arm to stabilize him, and he stood upright with a sheepish grin. I couldn’t quite contain my laughter, and let out a little chuckle. Kaneki joined, and we laughed for a few seconds until he fully got his balance. I looked to him and was about to ask if he was alright when I heard a door slam open.

“Kaneki Ken, where have you been?!” A woman yelled, and I assumed it was his mother. I looked away from the woman with an angry expression and long black flowing hair, (just like Kaneki’s) standing in the doorway, and looked towards the boy beside me. He was hunched over his his walking stick, a look of pain and fear made clear on his face, and I immediately wanted to slap his mother for making him feel this way.

Kaneki attempted to give an answer, his hands visibly shaking as all that came out were incoherent stutters. 

“He missed the bus, and got lost trying to find his way here, so I walked him home.” I answered for him, earning a glance from both Kaneki and his mother. I could feel the mother’s angry eyes burn into my very own, and I gave her one of my award-winning smiles in order to soften her expression, and to my surprise, it worked.

Kaneki’s mother stormed down the stairs and towards where Kaneki and I were standing. She looked down at Kaneki with an evil glare, that suddenly softened when she saw him shy away in utter fear.

“Ken, why didn’t call me after school?”

“I-I…”

“You what?” She boomed.

“I was afraid you’d be mad…” Kaneki spoke softly, avoiding his mother’s gaze at all costs. 

Kaneki’s mother stared at him a bit, possibly looking him over for any potential bruises that I may have given him on the walk here.  _ As if… _ I thought to myself. She eyed me down as well, and I put on my best smile to show that I was a...somewhat...trustworthy person. She panned back over to Kaneki and took his hand, beginning to lead him inside and away from me, and he complied, as expected.

“Ken, come inside right this instant.”

I piped up again before my mind even had a chance to shut my mouth up. “I could walk him to school tomorrow if it’s okay with you, Miss…” The second the words slipped my lips, I regretted them.

Kaneki’s mother set two stone cold eyes on me and scowled, and I was suddenly tasked with the job of working my way out of  this situation. I rubbed the back of my head in my usual nervous manner, and began to think my way out of this current state.

“I-I mean...In case he...you know…”

“Alright.” His mother said, catching me off guard. I looked to her with wide eyes. “But you better take care of my boy.” Her eyes scanned my body once more, then she nodded to herself, as if giving herself a sign of satisfaction. She turned away quickly and led Kaneki into the house behind her, half dragging the poor kid.

But I couldn’t help but notice the wide grin spread across Kaneki’s lips as he was ushered inside and with that, I continued my walk home, not much minding the same old boring blacks and whites and greys.

Maybe I’d have to get used to seeing these things. Maybe I’d have to get used to seeing color. Maybe one day, everything will fall into place just like it should, just like I hoped it would. And maybe it wouldn’t.

  
But that was okay. Because I had Kaneki Ken by my side. And for the time being, I was truly happy, for the first time in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEEELLLLL...  
> Yea this came out really early. I was going to at least try and wait a week to post the next chapter but I just couldn't wait any longer. I was really anxious anyway. (Also it was either post now, or wait a week, as this was one of my only available times to post. But that's not important...)  
> I was really stressed this week. Tests and quizzes to study for, an audition, appointments, just stuff like that. But everybody has days like that.  
> ANYWAY.... The next chapter will have a bit of a delay, with February being a pretty big month for me and all. I'll try to fall into a certain schedule of uploading, or not.  
> Might just do it randomly.  
> Thanks so much for reading and thanks so much for the feedback, it means a lot more to me than you all might think.  
> ~E


	3. Wasn't Born Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

I watched for six years as the world passed by. I watched how the trees grew, how the Sun would rise and fall upon the horizon. I watched as the waves would lap relentlessly at the sand on the beach, or how the birds would sing all day long. I watched as each day flew by, and best of all, I watched as Kaneki Ken grew up, and thanks to that boy, that magnificent, utterly perfect boy, who brightened my day in so many ways, that boy of whom I fell for more and more each day, I was blessed with the joy of watching the world pass by in the most vibrant and beautiful colors.

Kaneki and I grew throughout the years, as well. We grew separately, as our own personal beings, but we also grew together, we grew even closer. We were nearly inseparable, and that’s something that has never changed throughout those six years, but only grew stronger. 

Slowly but surely, Kaneki began to open up to me. I learned not in the way most people would. I learned in fragments, like a puzzle, piece by piece for six years until Kaneki was comfortable in telling me anything about him, and that made me happy. I found out so much about this boy that I could write a novel about him. I never rushed him into telling me anything, it was a natural gift that he’d be comfortable in telling me something personal about him. And that’d be the best gift I could ever wish for.

 

I had convinced Kaneki into buying a small apartment with me near the campus of our high school at the end of our senior year, and after months and months of begging and pleading and hinting, Kaneki finally accepted, and we were moved into our new home within a matter of days. Kaneki was hesitant at first, his reasoning being that he already knew his house well enough and that it’d be hard to get to know a new one, but with my promising to help him and how much fun it would be (my pleaded case being that it’d be like a normal sleepover between the two of us, just without either of us going home or leaving), he (reluctantly) agreed.

It rained the day we moved in. With that and helping my blind best friend move up and down the stairs along with carrying boxes of random assortments of items with varying weights and sizes, did not make moving any easier, but somehow, we managed to move all of our stuff into our rooms in less than two hours time.

The apartment was a nice place, a two-bedroom, one-bathroom with a large kitchen equipped with a dining room and a living room. We spent most of our money on furniture and decor, leaving us with just enough to pay for food, with just pennies to spare. And with neither one of us having a job with a steady income of money, we were destined to go bankrupt within our first week of living there.

It was obvious that at least one of us had to have a job, and with my being the only one with working eyes, I volunteered, and began setting out for a new job.

Kaneki didn’t like this at all.

He accused me of “leaving him to figure out how to survive on his own in a house that he didn’t even know for all hours of the day and possibly of the night, depending on what job I chose”, and while that broke my heart altogether, I somehow knew he would have the strength to manage completely fine on his own, for however long I’d be gone, which, hopefully, wouldn’t be long.

I knew it would be impossible to leave Kaneki for any longer than I necessarily needed to. 

I found a job opening at a coffee shop not far from our complex, and applied for it almost immediately. It was part-time, and paid extremely well, only having four days a week to work.

It was perfect.

Kaneki helped me tidy myself up on the day of the interview, and despite how nervous I was, he helped calm my nerves, reassuring me of how great I would really do. And I couldn’t help but believe him, what, with his sheepish grin, bright rosy cheeks, calm voice. All too adorable.

“You know, I can’t help but feel a bit jealous.” Kaneki spoke, sitting on the edge of my bed. I looked towards him, confused as to what he could possibly be meaning.

“I wish I could go out and get a job. Or be able to do  _ something _ to help you.” He continued, a sad smile gracing his peachy lips.

“You can’t help what you were born with.” I said, attempting (and seemingly failing) to comfort him, fighting the urge to pull him close and hug him, to tell him how perfect he was despite not being able to see.

Kaneki’s coal eyes fell upon me, a confused look to his face.

“I-I wasn’t born like this…” He spoke softly, as if embarrassed. “Being blind, I mean.”

My hands seemed to give up on tying my tie, my eyes on him, waiting for an explanation before I said anything else.

He took my silence as another chance to continue talking.

“I was born being able to see perfectly fine. I know what the Sun looks like, the moon, the ocean, all of it.”  The black haired boy smiled as bright as the Sun, my heart swelling with happiness at the sight. But the smile only lasted a few seconds, as it was replaced with such a look of pain, as it hurt to remember.

“Ken you don’t have to-”

“No. This is something I want you to know.” He cut me off and cleared his throat to continue. “Wh-When I was seven years old, I got in an...accident...with my mom. I got hit in the back of my head.” As if on cue, his hand raised and ruffled the hair on the nape of his neck. His face became rosy, as if embarrassed. 

He looked absolutely irresistable.

“I got hit so hard that it made me go unconscious, and when I woke up, I couldn’t see. I was emitted to the hospital, where I was told that I have retinal detachment. The name is kind of self-explanatory, really. M-My retina became detached from my eye. They told me I was too young to undergo surgery, and at the time, we just couldn’t afford it. So all I could do was just accept the fact that I’d be blind for the rest of my life.” Ken’s head tilted downwards, his eyes hidden behind a wall of long black hair. He twiddled his thumbs nervously, as if he’s done something wrong and was awaiting a punishment, or a lecture by me.

Out of all of our years together, this was something I’d never known. I was too afraid to ask, afraid that by doing so, I’d put him in a state of displeasure. I only assumed that he had been born like this, born with no vision. Now that I had finally known the full truth, after six long years, I was driven speechless.

Ken cleared his throat, wanting me to say something for his reassurance. 

“K-K...I didn’t-” Was all I managed to stutter out.

Kaneki stood up and forced on a smile, shaking his head slightly.

It was quite terrifying how good he was at faking a smile, but after knowing him for as long as I did, I could tell when he was faking.

“Y-You better hurry, you don’t want to be late.”

Now that he mentioned it, I had only five minutes until my interview, and as much as I wanted to stay with Kaneki to make sure he was alright, I couldn’t afford to be late (literally).

“ _ Shit.” _ I mumbled, fumbling to put on my tie, almost tripping over myself to slip on my shoes. Kaneki giggled at the sound of my panic, which initially made me smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” I said, giving into the small urge and wrapping my arms around Kaneki. He hugged back, whispering a silent ‘good luck’ in my ear, feeling his warm breath dance against my neck, which caused shivers down my spine. I thanked him and released him unwillingly, giving him one last, long, glance before I had to transition into the muted world once again. I turned, racing out the door and down the street to get to my interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, Loves!  
> I hope today was a magnificent day for all of you because it sure as hell was for me. But whatever.  
> AH okay I'm SO EXCITED for the series I don't even know why. It's a lot of fun to write and reading those comments people have left (of which I am so grateful for) never fail to make my day. It means so much to me thanks so much.  
> I have no earthly idea of when I'll post the next chapter and I seriously doubt I'll fall into a posting schedule, so be expecting a random update sometime soon (or not).  
> Lots of love!  
> -E


	4. Love Does Stupid Things To People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

I came home as fast as I could that night, the biggest smile spread across my face, one that I couldn’t help. 

It had been dark out by the time I was finished, the first signs of the stars beginning to show, the moon at its full potential in the darkness of the night. I didn’t much mind the incoming coolness of the autumn air nipping mercilessly at my nose

My heart pumped with adrenaline, my head spun with enthusiasm. Not because I got accepted the job at the cafe, but because I just couldn’t  _ wait _ to see Kaneki’s reaction to such good news. His smile so big, his face so bright, and not to mention, in full-blown vivid color, too. I completely bursted through our front door, no warning before hand, causing Kaneki, of whom was sitting on the couch with yet another book, jump in fear.

“H-Hide! D-Don’t just barge in like that!” He scolded me, standing up from his usual position from our single shared couch. His brows furrowed in concentration, and I spoke up just before he could begin muster a lecture.

“Ken! Ken, I got the job!”

I placed my hands on his shoulders to give him some type of stability, to let him know that I was really here and that this was all really happening. 

Kaneki grabbed my arms, his eyes growing wide with such a big smile spread on his face, I couldn’t help but contain my triumphant laughter.

If Kaneki was happy, no matter what the reason, it was truly a success in my eyes.

“That’s...That’s amazing! Hide, I’m so proud of you.”

“We have to celebrate.” I suggested, still attempting to muffle my laughter at how absolutely adorable my companion looked in his current happy state.

“Right. We can go wherever you want to-”

I knew Kaneki was never comfortable going anywhere, due to the fact that he had no idea what to expect. He was more of an introvert, whereas I, an extrovert, found the idea of going out somewhere with the person I love the most in the world accompanying me, quite an exciting idea. It just means that I get to see more of such a beautiful world in a much more exciting way, having the love of my life by my side.   
But what kind of person would I be to turn Kaneki’s positive attitude into one of discomfort, and for my own selfishness?

“Or…” I said cutting him off with a smirk. “ We could stay in and do something around here? Sound like a plan?”

But, to my misfortune, my coal-haired companion was too smart for my seemingly foolproof plan.

His smile faded, his hands falling from my arms slowly.”You don’t have to do that because of me, really.” 

I scoffed, turning my back to him, as if acting like I had no idea what he meant. “Who said I was doing it for you?”

“Hide…” Ken whined, and despite it sounding completely and utterly  irresistible in every way possible, I still wouldn’t break that easily. I saw him reaching for me blindly, afraid of tripping over something, needing something to grab onto as he always did. I turned and put my hand on his head, ruffling his hair as I always did, giving him the warmest smile I could possibly manage. I watched as Kaneki struggled and squirmed under my grip, letting a few giggles out here and there.

“Hah! H-Hide, stop!” He yelped, grabbing my wrist with both of his hands, basically begging for my mercy.

I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Alright, alright. But we are staying in tonight.”

Ken pouted at me, both of us knowing I was only doing this for him, and after a long minute, he finally agreed. I led him to the couch, where we both took our seats. 

It was a somewhat cramped couch, just large enough for the two of us to fit on comfortably. Kaneki turned to face me, bringing up both of his knees and pulling them to his chest, waiting for me to suggest an activity to do, since it  _ was _ my idea to stay inside.

“How about a movie?” I suggested.

Ever since we were kids, Kaneki loved going to the cinema. Despite his being blind, he found it interesting to hear all the sounds around him, creating a mental image of what was actually going on behind all of those strange noises. Ken would drag me to the cinema every other week to see the latest movie, only I never agreed because I was given the chance to not only watch the movie, but truly experience it. See how it really did look with every lovely color placed almost perfectly throughout the film, watching with bright eyes and an excited expression as every new sight played right in front of my very eyes.

I felt guilty to be given such a wondrous power, whereas Ken had no idea what the hell a color even was.

But now it was different. While I never grew out of my interest of colors, I grew more and more paranoid that my feelings for Kaneki might be one-sided, as I was too afraid to ask him how he felt, knowing it would ruin our friendship, a bond I couldn’t live without. I could never get enough courage to say something, and doubt I ever would. I was only able to enjoy my time with such a beautiful person, something I was happy with. 

If he and I were truly meant for each other, then fate would somehow find a way to let me know, and until then, I just wanted to be with him, for however long fate would allow.

 

Kaneki agreed happily to watching a movie. I played one of his favorites, dimming the lights and turning the volume to a high level, attempting to recreate the true cinema-feel in our own little apartment.

Ken seemed to notice my efforts, turning to me with a look of guilt. 

“This night is supposed to be for you, Hide. Not me.” He whined. I only hushed him with a smile, tossing a blanket over his head in my normal playful manor. I stifled a laugh, watching as he situated himself so he was curled up in the warmth of the blanket pulled tightly around his thin shoulders. We each situated ourselves luxuriously on the couch, only inches apart from each other due to the limited available couch-space.

We watched in silence, the blaring sounds of the television being the only thing either of us could focus on. About an hour into the film, I felt a sudden solem weight on my shoulder, turning to find a mess of dark hair covering my shoulder. I peered over, seeing Ken’s lids heavily shut over his eyes, his body curled up loosely against mine.

He had fallen asleep.

My heart began to flutter involuntary, blood rushing to me face. I slapped my hand over my mouth, reaching for the remote with the other to turn down the volume to ensure Kaneki’s slumber.

_ What the hell do I do?  _ I asked myself, not wanting to disturb the boy.

I stared blankly at him for a few moments before ultimately deciding to somehow transport him to his own bedroom. Using sluggish movements, I turned my body to face him, removing my shoulder and supporting his head with my hand. I continued to move and after what seemed like an eternity, I made so that I was in front of him, one hand supporting his head, the other snaking around his legs. I hoisted him up bridal-style, his head curled snuggly into my chest as the rest of his body fell limp in my arms.

He was surprisingly light for someone his size, and while I was thankful that that fact made him easier to carry, I began to worry if he was eating enough, or if this was how he always was. I shook my head gently, Ken had always been a frail boy with a small frame, that was something I had noticed the day we met.

I carried the boy to his room, setting him down on his bed and pulling the covers over him to ensure his comfort. I looked down at him, a million thoughts running through my head at once.

It’s insane how much this one boy could impact my life, without even knowing it. Not only did he open my eyes to a new sight, one that never ceased to amaze me with every glance, but he also drove me insane. This boy, face calm and breathing shallow, right in front of me, had the capability to completely fuck up somebody’s life without knowing it or meaning to. He was sweeter than sugar, frail and gentle and funny and all-around perfect in my eyes. I watched him change for years as we grew up together, silently swearing to protect his smile and his happiness with my very life. 

He is my whole world.

He means everything to me and more, and just the constant thought that it’s a possibility that he only thinks of me as just another person, as just a friend, physically pains me, twisting my heart in unmentionable pain.

But I’ve learned to deal with this pain  _ because _ of him. He may drive me mentally insane, but he’s also the one keeping me grounded. He’s my drug, my anchor.

He’s my everything.

I leaned over him, running a hand through his silky black hair that I’ve become so fond of over the years, letting it lace through my fingers and fall faintly to the side of his pale face. He didn’t react to my touch, too taken by sleep to even notice anything.

“Fate…” I whispered, silently praying that my words were not to wake him. “Please hurry up…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little cuteness before everything happens...ha...  
> Kinda like a calm before the storm I guess.  
> Yea I don't have much to say about this chapter.  
> Oh today is my birthday though. That's exciting I guess.  
> Oh well. STAY TUNED!  
> ~E


	5. First Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

Senior year ended faster than a speeding bullet, sending my head spinning and racing in all directions. Summer came and faded in a haze, leaving me with the dizzying feeling of nausea at the fact the college was sneaking up on us. 

Kaneki and I decided it’d be better to attend the community college located not too far from our home (it was more Kaneki’s idea, his counteroffer being that the community college would cost less, and we wouldn’t have to move or be split up somehow. I couldn’t even begin to think about ever being split up from him, so I agreed. Wherever he goes, I go.)

We got our textbooks and schedules a week before classes started, both of us finding it difficult to keeping our excitement at bay. We dreamed of college ever since we were young, our minds racing with possibilities and hope for our futures.

Separate hopes.

While Kaneki hoped and dreamed of a future where he could be be free and happy, even while blind, I dreamed only of a future with colors, a future with him. I didn’t care what would happen, as long as we could be together, and happy. I knew it was far-fetched, liable to just be another thought in my head, but for all these years, I continued to dream, and hope, and plead for faith to take its part.

I studied our two schedules, side-by-side with such a look of excitement that suddenly faded into anger.

“This has to be a joke…” I said under my breath, glancing over the two pieces of paper over and over, wishing that  _ something _ would change.

“What is it?” Ken spoke beside me.

“We don’t have any classes together. Not even our lunch period is lined up!” I shouted, pushing the papers far away from us, not wanting them to even be around me, I turned to look him in the eyes, not much minding the blinding transition to color.

“Oh.” Kaneki said. I looked to him, his gaze deeming unreadable.

“ _ Oh?” _ I mimicked, glancing even harder at him. 

“I-I mean… I’m not happy about it either, but…”

“But what?” I lashed, trying my best  _ not  _ to yell at the poor guy.

“There’s really nothing we can do about it, Hide.”

A shiver made its way up my spine as it always did whenever he said my name. Just his lips speaking such a word sent me out of my rage and back into my beautiful reality. 

I sighed loudly, sitting next to Ken. “Yea you’re right.”

“Besides, it’s not like it’s that big a deal or anything.”

I stood up this time, catching the other by the arm just as he was turning to leave.

“Not that big of a deal?” I asked, a hint of sadness hidden in my voice.

He turned to me, calm. “Well we’ve always been together since we were young. I can manage on my own, Hide. Really. I don’t want you to worry about me anymore.”

“Ken you know I-”

“I mean you’ve done so much for me as is. I just don’t want to burden you anymore, that’s all.” He smiled sadly, using this moment as a time to escape my grasp. I didn’t even notice until I heard his bedroom door shut and my sight averted back to black and white. I raced to his door, opening it in a hurry. He was on his bed, another book in his hands, the same small dots placed randomly over it as all his books did. His head turned towards me.

“Don’t ever say anything like that, Ken. You’re not a-”

“A burden?” He finished for me.

I nodded.

“It’s sweet of you to try and cheer me up, but really, Hide. We both know it’s true. You’re the one with the job, with all the money. You pay the rent, our taxes, you pay for food, you cook, you clean, and what do I do? Nothing. Nothing to help you.”

_ That’s not true! _ I wanted to yell.  _ Just you being by my side for all this time is all the help I’ll ever need.  _ Instead I merely sat down next to him.

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about. You help me in ways you don’t even realize.”

That got at least got a smile out of the boy.

He sighed and brought his head down, hesitating before finally looking up to me and smiling sadly. “Thanks.” was all he mumbled, before cracking open his book and tracing his fingers carefully over the dots on the page. zi took that as my cue to leave, so I turned and walked out the door, anticipating the last week I had with my companion before we were forced to split and go our separate ways.

 

I sighed, glancing over at Kaneki.

“You ready?” I asked, stepping into the car.

“...No.” He answered quietly.

I put the keys into the ignition and started the car, slinging my seatbelt over my body and clicking it into place.

“I don’t want to do this…” Ken mumbled under his breath, looking down at his hands.

I glanced over at him putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do fine. You have no reason to be worried. I’ll come by at your last class to pick you up, alright?”

He nodded, a single sad smile on his face as I turned and faced the road and drove down the road to our first day of college. 

The campus was monumental, colossal, making it almost impossible to find a parking space. Once found, Ken and I both dragged ourselves out of the vehicle, and meeting in front of the car. I put a hand on his shoulder to let him know I was there.

“I’ll walk you to your first class.” I said, beginning to turn towards the north building, where Ken’s literature class was.

“B-But you’re class is all the way on the other side of the campus..” I’ll admit I had forgotten about that, wanting to spend as much time as possible with Ken as I could manage before we’d be split up for the day.

I shook my head at his response, saying that it didn’t matter, that I could run if I needed to, making excuses to all of his protests until we made it to his first class.

I looked around slightly, noticing that only a few people had made it to the classroom this early. I pushed Kaneki lightly into a seat near the back, where he could hardly be noticed- I knew that’s where he preferred to be.

“You alright here?” I asked, a hesitance rising in me to leave him here, by himself, a possibility that anything could be happen.

He only nodded, avoiding my gaze.

I looked down at him one last time before smiling. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s only the first day” I said, turning and leaving before my nerve to stay with him grew too strong.

I walked in a colorless void out of the classroom, my head held down. 

I wasn’t as scared for myself as I was for Ken. We had been together in every class for the last six years by true luck, and now, our luck has run out. I saw how much worry was in his eyes, how much fear was in his voice, how careful every step was, and it scared the shit out of me. I wouldn’t be able to look after him, to protect him for a long while, and I could only hope and pray that everything would go alright.

“O-Oh… Excuse me, Miss.” I said, feeling as a girl’s shoulder slammed into mine and saw as her books fell to the ground. i stooped down to pick them up, not before meeting her familiar gaze.

“Touka?” I asked, surprised to see my co-worker at this school.

She allowed a smile to grace her lips, something that was a rare sight to see.

“Hey, Idiot.” She said with a smirk, snatching her books out of my grasp.

“I-I didn’t know you were going to this school.” I said in surprise, smiling at her.

She sighed, looking down with a disappointed look. “You really don’t listen, do you? I talked about this place all the time.”

“O-Oh, I guess I really don’t listen, hah!” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling embarrassed for being such an idiot.

“Whatever. What class are you headed to?” She asked changing the subject thankfully.

“It’s uh...It’s actually in the West building…” I said nervously. Touka looked as if she wanted to punch me, and I took a step back in fear of that happening.

“Then what the hell are you doing all the way over here, Idiot?!”

“I-I was walking my friend to his class!” I defended.

She laughed a bit, sneering. “What is he, twelve? He doesn’t need you to w-”

“He’s  _ blind. _ ” I said with a scowl through clenched teeth, my anger catching up to me. I knew she didn’t know but damn it, it just made my blood boil to hear her talk about him in such away.

“Oh...Sorry…” She said, suddenly feeling bad for her mistake.

I shook it off. She hadn’t meant to offend me, or Ken, at the least. “It’s alright. Anyway, which class are you going to.”

“Advanced literature. I know, I-”

“Wait…” I said, leaning close to her. “ Literature…?”

She nodded slowly, giving me a confused look, her dark hair bobbing up and down.

I put my hands on her shoulders. “I need a big favor from you.” I said, an all new seriousness in my tone.

“What do you want?”

“I need you to look after him-uh, Ken, I mean. Just while I’m not there.”

“Ken…?” She asked, cocking her head.

I shook my head. “The blind one.” I said, silently apologizing for such terminology. “Just to make sure he isn’t alone, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, please? Please?” I begged, not much minding the pleading tone in my voice. I gripped at her shoulders until my knuckles turned snow white.

She hesitated. “Fine. But you owe me, Nagachika.”

“O-Of course! Thanks so much, Touka! You’re the best!” I said, skipping off to my building before she had time to change her mind, or say anything else for that matter.

I could only hope and pray that my wavering luck would hold out, just for today. 

 

The day dragged on and on seemingly endless, the end of the day set far away from my reach. Hours and hours of sitting alone in a boring class, listening to some teacher lecture about God knows what, is not a great way to pass time. My mind was set on getting back to Ken, and that only, as each slow minute ticked on and on until the final bell rang, signaling the end of our day. The second it sounded, I bolted from my seat and raced to the North block, sliding passed people who stood in my way, stumbling and mumbling out apologies as I ran through. I raced up the stairs leading to the third floor of the North building, where his final class was located, where I had promised to meet him as the last bell rang. I flew into the classroom just as the same beautiful burst of color appeared in my eyes, and I knew Kaneki was close by.

I saw him sitting at a desk with Touka, who I was surprised to see had pale hair and eyes to match, a pasty color tone for her skin. I’d have to admit, she looked astounding in full color, but was still nothing compared to my Ken.

A smile graced each of their lips as they each laughed about something, and I was instantly overwhelmed with happiness to see him not only smiling, but talking with someone other than me. I had always encouraged him to try and meet new people, but he always insisted that I was enough, and that he was too shy to go and speak to somebody, and while I was always flattered by his excuse, I couldn’t help but feel that I wasn’t enough.

I pushed myself back into reality, walking up to the duo and sitting down at an empty seat next to them. I smiled at Touka, proud that she had kept her word and not only looked after him, but made friends with him.

“Hey, Idiot.” She greeted in her normal manner.

Kaneki looked to her, as if knowing who she was talking about. He gave a little wave in my direction.

“So?” I asked. “How was everybody’s day?”

The two smiled at each other, and began to inform me about how everything went-how they met, which classes they had together, what happened in class, everything. They talked and laughed until almost everyone spilled out of the room, and we were the only ones left, and by then, I could hardly contain my excitement for them. 

Touka looked around the room, noticing that it was vacant besides us, turning back to me with a frown. “Guess we should be going now.” She proceeded to stand up, taking her books and backpack in her hands, as I grabbed mine and Ken’s. We walked out the building together, saying our goodbye’s as we parted our separate ways, Touka’s car being opposite from mine. Before leaving, she turned to me. “Shift tomorrow right after classes end-and you’d better not be late, Nagachika.” She said, scampering off in her own direction, as Ken and I walked towards my car.

“Guessing your day went well?” I said, glancing over to him. He was still smiling.

“Yea. Touka...She’s really nice. She just walked right up to me and just started talking to me, how crazy is that?”

_ She must not have told him I put her up to this…  _ I slung and arm around his shoulders. “See? First day wasn’t that bad, now, was it?”

Kaneki only laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this early because I absolutely can't WAIT until chapter seven. I'll be posting a bit for often, maybe every three or four days. Not entirely sure yet so don't hold me to it.  
> This was actually one of my longer chapters. It kinda makes up for the upcoming chapter, as it's pretty short...  
> Thanks so much for all the nice comments everyone it honestly makes me so so happy to see that people are liking this series so far, even though we haven't even gotten to the best part. I seriously love all of you to pieces.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> ~E


	6. Spilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

“You’re late.” 

“I’m sorry, Touka, I really am, but-”

“Save it, Nagachika. I don’t have time for your petty excuses. I need to speak with you. Now.”

This was odd. Usually when I was late to work, Touka would always force me to give her a reason why, just so she could use it against me. That’s how things worked around here.

But this is the first time she’s ever wanted to speak to me, and despite her cold, hard exterior, she was completely unpredictable. I had no idea what was in store for me, the words ‘I need to speak to you’ rarely ever escaped her lips. Long story short, I was terrified.

She grabbed my sleeve and pulled hurriedly to the back room, where we store our supply of coffee beans and other ingredients. The place smelled vaguely of a strange perfume, possibly Touka’s, but I decided that that was the least of my problems at the moment. Touka turned to me, hands on her hips, her light gray eyes staring intently at me, as if trying to figure me out, as if she was reading my thoughts.

That was not a comforting feeling.

“Um...y-you wanted to talk to me…?” I said with an uneasy smile, trying to break the ice and reduce at least some of the tension between us. She took a step closer to me.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Wh-Wha-?”

“Don’t play dumb, Hide. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

I didn’t quite know how to respond to that, the problem being that I wasn’t playing dumb, but I really  _ was  _ dumb. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

She sighed, aggravated. “You’ve been acting strange ever since school started. And what was the deal with Kaneki? How come you wanted me to...watch him for you? As if he was some child that needed parental supervision or something!”

_ Oh… _

She placed a finger to my chest, pushing me back a tiny bit with little force. “I’m not some kind of babysitter. Sure, I like the guy and everything, but-”

_ “ _ Woah, woah, woah. You  _ like  _ him?” I couldn’t stop the words from coming out even if I tried. I clenched my fists at my sides, my blood boiled with jealousy at her remark. I stared down at her with anger burning in my eyes, awaiting her next answer. 

She blushed, looking confused. She stepped back, putting both of her hands up in defense. “N-No! I mean, yes, I do, but only as a friend. And why would you care, anyway? It’s not like-...”

Her eyes softened, and I knew right away that she understood everything that had been going on. She stared at me for a moment, her mouth slightly opened, as if rethinking her thoughts. She then gave me a wry smirk, crossing her arms in front of her chest the way she always did when she figured something out.

“You son of a bitch.” Touka said, pushing a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear. “You could’ve told me he was your boyfriend.”

I felt as blood rushed to my cheeks at just the thought of that idea.

“N-No… he’s not. Look, Touka. I don’t know if you’ll understand this, but I just... I wa-...I  _ need _ him to be safe. A-And since we have no classes together, I was hoping I could trust you to make sure he was alright. He means a lot to me…” I tried mumbling the last part, not wanting her to hear such a confession from me.

“...Did you see  _ it? _ ” She asked, referring to the colors.

I hesitated, my gaze shifting to a bag of grounded coffee, wanting to keep my gaze averted from Touka. I only nodded.

“Shit…” She said, comprehending the seriousness of the situation at hand.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"So...What's it like? Is it how everybody says it is?" She asked, hardly containing her excitement.

I laughed slightly and shook my head in disbelief of the childish grin on her face. "Yeah. Except it feels more...real. Like you feel like the world has opened up to you. If that makes any sense..."

There was an elongated silence between the two of us. Her eyes studied me, my eyes studied the gray floor beneath my black shoes.

"Did you see it the first time you two met?" She finally said, breaking the silence.

“I saw it six years ago. He was the new student in the class, and the second I saw him, I saw the colors.” I laughed at the memory. “I was too shocked to tell him or even speak to him, for that matter. Then...I saw him sitting by the sea, and I spoke to him. That’s when I found out that he was... _ is... _ blind…” My face turned stoic. I never liked this memory. Sure, it was the memory that started it all, the first of many, but I could never shake the feeling I had the first time I found out he wasn’t able to see.

“So...he doesn’t know you love him.” The word ‘love’ sounded so strange, distant. It sounded almost teasing, as if it knew I would never be able to reach it. And I hated it.

I frowned. “No.”

We both glanced at our feet, her feeling remorse for what she had said, and me, feeling sorry for myself for not having told her. Touka shook her head, looking back up at me.

“We should get back to work.”

I forced on a smile, reassuring her that everything was alright, that I wasn’t angry or anything. No hard feelings. We both sighed and stepped out of the room together, and went to our separate stations. 

Honestly I had felt relieved to tell someone something that I had been keeping secret for longer than six years. I trusted Touka, and I was sure she’d keep it secret for me.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

Or...so I thought…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY this chapter is actually really short. The next few chapters will make up for it, as those are a bit longer.  
> I am actually sick now and I have absolutely awful writer's block, so I haven't gotten far in finishing this series yet but hopefully I'll be able to push through soon.  
> I have a lot of work to make up (because I stayed home today) and I'm actually going to a concert in four days so no promises on my next upload yet.  
> THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK I LOVE YOU ALL!!  
> ~E


	7. Not-So-Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.  
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

Days passed like speeding bullets and faded into weeks. And after the weeks sped by, they, themselves, faded into months. Four months passed since Kaneki and I started our first year of college, and neither of us could be more pleased with how everything was turning out. Despite tripping and falling and getting a nasty cut near his eye and having to wear an eyepatch (he didn’t look half bad in, might I mention), Kaneki had been getting the highest grades in all of his classes, turning in all his assignments on time, and staying invisible to the constant threat of bullies. He and Touka had become such close friends, they were nearly inseparable. Thought I was never fully comfortable with that, I allowed it, because Kaneki was happy, therefore I was happy.

I, on the other hand, didn’t change as much. My love for him was greater than anything, as it has always been, and I was still fascinated by the beautiful world of colors Kaneki opened up for me every time I looked at him, yet angry at myself for being able to view something so exhuberating, yet my companion was stuck in a world of black and darkness. 

It just wasn’t fair.

But that’s the way things were. It was our own fate, one that would possibly last a lifetime. I never understood it thoroughly, but fate has its own way of doing things-a way that I just can’t control.

 

The date was December 20-Kaneki’s nineteenth birthday. Fortunately for me, it just so happened that his birthday was on a Saturday, giving us the whole day to spend together, which was something that I wouldn’t give up for the world.

I decided that today would be one of Ken’s best birthdays. He deserved a day like today- a day where we do everything that he wants to do, go everywhere he wants to go. Today was his day, and I was here to ensure his happiness.

“Ken~! Wake up, Kaneki. Rise and shine!” i said wistfully, gently shaking his shoulder. 

“Ngh...Hide...it’s too early…” He groaned, turning over and hitting me in the face with a pillow with about as much strength as a two year old. I laughed at him, hitting him back with a bit more force than was applied to me.

“It’s time to get up, Birthday Boy!” I called, stepping over to his window and opening his blinds so I could get a better view of him, the darkness of his room casting too many dark shadows over him to the point of where I could hardly see him. I looked to him and smiled happily. He was lying on on his side, curled up just as he always slept, hugging a pillow closed to his chest. His bed head was sticking all over the place, his beautiful black hair ruffled against his pillow. Even from where I stood, I could see the scar over his left eye from his previous incident, where he fell and cut it on the pavement. It carried on a pinkish color over time, as it did in its natural healing process. I could see the dark circles under his eyes in comparison to his subtle skin, from countless nights staying up late to study, or to finish his homework, which always took longer for him because of his disability, but he always got it done due to his pure determination and willpower. He was truly amazing.

“Hide?” He called out in his groggy state. I had been silent so long, he was wondering if I had left.

I took the opportunity to grab a pillow and hit him with it, laughing as I did. “Ready to admit defeat?” I called.

He sat up quickly, grabbing a pillow, using it as a shield, and laughing along with me. “You’re at an unfair advantage! You can actually  _ see! _ ” He retorted.

I put down my weapon. “Oh, yea. Right.” I said, genuinely feeling bad for what I had done. I almost failed to notice the pillow flying across the room and hitting me on the face.

“But you forgot that I have better hearing than you.” 

“Smart ass, you-”

“Hide...”

It had momentarily slipped my mind that Kaneki hated curse words, especially when I used them. He said they sounded menacing, and that they scared him sometimes. He always felt that curse words held anger and resentment, and while we lived together, they would not be tolerated.

I laughed, putting a hand on his shoulder to tell him that I was in close proximity. “My bad, Ken. You win. But next time, I’ll get you.” I got off of his bed, turning to grab a small, gray, folded stick, Kaneki’s walking stick, and placed in gingerly in his hands. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen for breakfast. I have a surprise for you, Birthday Boy.” I said with a smirk, giving one last glance at Ken’s adorable bed head before turning, and beginning to leave. But before I could reach the door, I felt  a slight force pull on the sleeve of my shirt. I turned to see Ken leaning to grab it just before I left, a light blush tinting his otherwise pale cheeks.

“Even if it is my birthday, you don’t need to do anything for me. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.” He said.

I snickered. “You’re going to be nineteen today. That’s pretty damn-uh,  _ darn _ cool, and it’s something to celebrate.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I don’t  _ have  _ to, I  _ want  _ to, idiot.” I ruffled his hair as I always did to him. “Now hurry up and get ready, breakfast is getting cold!” I then raced to the kitchen before Ken could reply, and made sure all of my breakfast preparations were perfect.  

Today was going to be Kaneki’s day, and I wouldn’t let anything stop that.

 

“Bad news, Ken, it’s about to raining.” I said, looking gloomily out the window. Large, luminous dark clouds circled the sky, seeming endless. “But...I think we should still be safe for at least an hour or two.”

“What are you planning to do with me?” Kaneki said with a grin, coming up beside me and grabbing onto my sleeve for stability.

_ Oh you have no idea… _ I wanted to say, but restrained myself, and only laughed.

“You’ll know when we get there” I replied, and continued to stare out the window. For a moment, I was content with just standing there, watching drop after drop of water continuously flow from the sky and fall to the ground below. i was content with listening to the distant rumble of thunder, and the remote flash of lightning. And I was content having kaneki right there with me, just the two of us.

Until fate decide to fuck me over, once again.

My phone buzzed on and on in my pocket. With an elongated sigh, I fished it out and answered it.

“Hello?” I asked, the annoyance being heard in my tone. Kaneki looked over to me with a confused expression  _ damn he was so cute…  _ ‘Who is it?’

“Jeez, what’s the deal with you?” A familiar voice responded. I grinned.

“Oh, hey Touka.” I watched with uneasiness as Kaneki’s face brightened with the sound of Touka’s name.

“Cut the shit, Nagachika. I wasn’t calling to chit-chat with you, I was calling to wish Kaneki a happy birthday. Where is he, anyway?”

“Ouch…” I said, pretending to be hurt. I knew her intentions already. “He’s right here.”

“Can you pass on the message? I actually need to talk to you real quick. Alone.” Her voice sounded more demanding than usual, and my heart immediately began to race, thinking of what she had to talk to me about.

I place my hand over the phone and turned to Kaneki.

“Touka says hi and wishes you a happy birthday. She needs to talk to me for some reason so I’ll be right back. and then we can go, alright?”

Kaneki nodded, giving a sweet thanks to Touka with a blush. A blush that I didn’t like, or approve of.

I walked to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. “Alright, what did you want?” I asked her.

“I’m leaving to go visit some relatives upstate. It’s a...personal matter… Anyway, long story short, I’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

“‘A few weeks’? How long is ‘a few weeks’?” I asked, a hint of anger being heard in my voice. What was going to happen to Kaneki? I couldn't be there to protect him, Touka wouldn’t be there to make sure he’s alright. 

“Three or four. I don’t know, really.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?  _ Tomorrow _ , Touka?! Why couldn’t you have told me sooner?! What about work? What about Kaneki?!” I nearly shouted, remembering to keep my voice down, just so Ken wouldn’t hear.

There was a crack of lightning, followed by a rumble of thunder.

“I already checked in with the cafe. Kaneki would be fine on his own for a bit, it’s not a big deal.” She sounded so nonchalant about the whole situation, which initially got me angry on its own.

“Not that big of a deal? Really? Touka, he’s  _ weak. _ He can’t survive on his own! He needs  _ someone  _ there to protect him!”

“Well what do you want me to do?! I can’t get out of this stupid trip even if I tried!”   
I took a deep breath. She was right, there really was no way out, even if we tried. “Sorry. You’re right. I guess...I’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks. Have a good weekend. Take care of Ken for me.” She said, and hung up before I even got a chance to respond.

_ Ken.  _ Her nickname for him left a sour taste in my mouth. Ken was my nickname for Kaneki.

But I guess it can’t be helped now. All I cared about was getting back to him, and enjoying our day together. I slid my phone back into my pocket, and walked outside, only to be slammed in the face by a pillow.

“Ow...Wha-”

“I have better hearing than you might think, Hide.” Kaneki said, his voice sounded distressed and tired, and when my sight finally got used to the transition from black and white to color, I saw that he was crying.

He was  _ crying. _

Did he hear what I said to Touka? Was he listening to our conversation?

“K-Ken… N-N-No I didn’t…!”

“Don’t talk to me. Just… stay away from me!” Before I could realize what was happening, Kaneki bursted out through the front door, and was well on his way down the hallway, away from our apartment.

_ Without his cane. _

“Shit. Ken! Ken, wait!” I sprinted after him, nearly breaking my knee by hitting it on a wall turning out of the doorway to our apartment. I shouted after him again. “Kaneki, please! I didn’t mean to!”

Tears stung the corners of my eyes as well. I raced down the stairs to the bottom floor, taking them two at a time, in high hopes to catch up with him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Kaneki!” I stopped to yell again, my body pulsing with every heartbeat, my blood filled with adrenaline. It was dangerous for him to be alone here, without a proper guide or a walking stick, and especially in a storm for that matter. I  _ needed  _ to find him- and fast.

I was terrified when after a quick inspection of the bottom floor, Ken was nowhere to be seen. The only other place he could’ve gone was outside, and as much as I hoped he didn’t find his way out the doors and down the stairway leading to our building, there was no other place he could’ve gone. Cursing silently, I bolted through the doors leading to the stone stairway out of our building.

My knees buckled at the sight before me, and at that moment, I wished I hadn’t been alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry(notsorry) to leave off with a bit of a cliffhanger :p  
> I'm so excited.  
> Yea really not much to say for this chapter. Wouldn't want to spoil anything.  
> WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT???  
> ~E


	8. "Falling" In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.  
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

“Shit, Kaneki!”

I had to force my legs to carry me forward to where my companion’s lifeless body lay at the bottom of the stone stairway. He was lying face down, his nose probably crushed by the impact. Cringing, I saw with closer inspection as rain mixed with deep, red blood gushing from his head, the water mixing with it and carrying it away, down the quiet street before us. I knelt in front of him, lifting up the upper part of his body, so relieved to feel that it had maintained most of its body heat, signaling that he wasn’t dead.

Yet.

He was losing blood fast, quicker and quicker by the second. The merciless wind mixing with the cool December rain insured our body temperatures to be dropping. I shrugged off my coat and threw it around his thin shoulders, hoping to maintain some of his plummeting body heat.

There was a large gash over his left eye, where his original scar had been re-opened. It stretched over his forehead, blood pouring relentlessly from the wound, carried down his face and matted into his black, coal, hair by the rain. 

“Fuck, KANEKI!” I shook him once more, as if by doing so, it would magically wake him up.

It didn’t.

I tore of a large piece of saturated cloth from my shirt with all new strength that I never knew I had, and wrapped it tightly over the gash in order to stop the bleeding. I carefully leaned Kaneki’s head to my shoulder, wrapping my arms around him and yanked out my phone, quickly calling the police with frostbitten fingers, due to the coldness of December.

“Hello, what is your emergency?” The lady asked in such a bright and happy tone that it made me want to punch her.

“He-He-He’s bleeding! H-He won’t wake up! SEND HELP RIGHT AWAY!” Was all I could manage to shout through the phone. My body had been paralyzed with fear and coldness from the rain. A sad mixture of blood and rain and tears saturated my clothing, but I didn’t care about that.

“Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down.”

“I CAN’T! I-I-It was all my fucking fault!” I cried helplessly into the phone, trying and ultimately failing to silence my sobs through the phone.

“Sir, I’m going to need your address to we can send help.” I hated this woman and how calm she was. I  _ hated  _ it.  _ Despised _ her light, preppy tone, as if the love of her life is still alive and not bleeding profusely from the head.

I angrily shouted the address into the phone, and after a few moments, the lady responded.

“The police and ambulance will be there soon, now sir-”

I hung up before I could hear anything else. That was all I needed to hear from that treacherous woman.

I hugged him, burying my head in the crook of his neck. 

“I-I’m so s-s-sorry, Ken. I-I’m so sorry…I love you… I didn’t mean for this to happen…” But the rain only poured harder.

I kissed his neck, sobbing delicately into his shoulder, making sure to keep pressure on his head in order to subside the bleeding, but it didn’t seem to work. Sirens came blaring beside us, but were only blurred by a bittersweet combination of tears and rain clouding my eye. But I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want him to be taken away from me, and taken to some hospital with strangers, of whom I had no associations with. I didn’t want to be told that he had lost too much blood, or that he was never waking up again. I didn’t want him to leave me, not like this. I would have to be pried away from him, and that’s just what the men from the ambulance did. Two men much stronger than me shoved me aside to get to Kaneki. I watched with blurry eyes as they removed my makeshift bandage from his head, and cringed at the sight of his gash. They immediately called for a stretcher.

I raced to the rail of the stretcher, tears falling mercilessly from my face. I looked into the eyes of one of the doctors, unable to speak. Somehow, he had read my mind, and said, “The cut is pretty deep, kid. No promises.” He looked to his buddy, then back to me. “Tell you what, I’ll let you ride in the ambulance with him. Looks like you could need it.” 

No matter how badly I wanted to thank him, my body just wouldn’t allow it. I tried to smile, but it was almost as if weights were tied to my mouth. I tried to speak, but it was almost as if my voice ran away and hid.

I wish I could run away and hide. Like a coward. Run and hide from this situation, as if I didn’t do it, as if I wasn’t the cause of it.

_ Pull yourself together… _ I told myself. Kaneki was more important to me than some cowardish thoughts.

I boarded the vehicle, and helped the two men load the stretcher into the back of it. A worker threw a towel at me. I was slow to retrieve it, but when I did, I decided I didn’t need it. I wrapped it around Kaneki and began to dry him off, so maybe he wouldn’t be as cold.

Or maybe he was dead…

I shook my head, shaking out such a horrid thought. He wasn’t dead. He was alive, but bruised.

A doctor in dry clothing brushed passed me to close the doors of the ambulance, and we were off, speeding down a wet road, sirens blaring and yelling through the rain. 

I gazed down at Ken. His face was pale- paler than usual, his lips dull and colorless, parted to reveal blinding white, straight, teeth. His hair was caked with red clumps of blood and dampened with rain. The gash across his head reminded me of fresh blood in snow, as it had looked in contrast to Kaneki’s pale contour.

I wanted to cry. Or throw up. I wasn’t sure yet. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The two men who originally pushed me to get to Ken were now surrounding his head, both of them calling for tools and instruments to clean out the gash and eventually stop the bleeding. They were speaking to each other, but their words sounded foreign to my ears. The circled around his head like bees, swarming and running crazily in order to get him right again.

I grabbed his hand and looked down at it, his fingers sprawled limply in my palm.

“What have I done…”

 

“Mr. Nagachika?”

I was too lost in my own thoughts that I almost missed the beautiful nurse who called my name from the doorway of the waiting room. where I had been waiting for three hours. 

I stood, letting the towel used to dry my rain-soaked clothes around my shoulders fall the the floor and pool at my feet. I stared blankly at the nurse, not much minding my disheveled clothes, or my matted hair.

She smiled at me, showing off her radiant smile. “The operation was a success, though Mr. Ken isn’t awake yet. he should be-”

“Take me to see him.” I insisted, surprised by my own sudden outburst.

“Well, alright. Come this way.”

I nodded and followed the nurse. 

I wasn’t sure what to think. I began to grow more and more nervous with every step I took closer to Kaneki. What if he woke up and hated me? What if he hit his head too hard and lost his memory? What if he was in a coma, and he would never wake up? What if-

“Mr. Nagachika?” The nurse’s voice bellowed from the door leading into Kaneki’s room. I muttered out an apology as she opened the door for me. I stepped inside, a bit too eagerly for the nurse’s liking, which she warned me about with a “Be careful, Sir. He still hasn’t woken up yet.” But I didn’t care.

Ken was covered up to his neck in a hospital gown, his head covered in crisp, white bandages, including his eyes. His nose was bruised and scarred from impact, but seemed to be alright otherwise. I could only stare at him, stare at the destruction I caused one innocent person because of my own stupidity.

I took his hand in mine, happy to find that it was still as warm as always.

“He was blind, correct?” The nurse asked.

I nodded. The only thing I could do to respond.

“When he fell, he had major head trauma. He took a hard fall, you’re lucky you found him when you did.”

Lucky.

“Luck doesn’t apply anywhere in this situation. I wasn’t lucky that I found him. I’m not lucky he’s alive. Hell, it was my fault he’s like this.” I looked helplessly at the nurse and shook my head, averting my eyes back to Ken. “Why are you telling me this?”

The nurse inhaled deeply. “He suffered from a disease called retinal detachment when he was young, and at the time he was too young to have the surgery to fix it. Long story short, the surgery to reattach his retina was a success, along with the surgery to fix his fractured skull and stitch up that nasty gash.”

This statement peaked my interest. I turned toward the nurse with wide eyes. “You mean… He’ll be able to.. He can…”

She nodded and smiled again. “His sight has been restored.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BUT JUST WAIT, KIDS. IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING!  
> I was at a concert last night, so I'm dead tired and why not go ahead and upload another chapter?  
> YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THIS IT'S KINDA IMPORTANT so I am working on finishing the series, and so far I predict it'll be 15-16 chapters long (I have a lot more in store ;p) so I guess that's exciting.  
> HOW WILL KANEKI REACT TO HIS SIGHT BEING RESTORED? WILL HE SEE THE COLORS? WILL HE EVER WAKE UP? STAY TUNED!  
> ~E


	9. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

Waiting.

Waiting and waiting and waiting. Listening to the countless  and seemingly infinite  _ tick-tock _ of the clock, the the pitter patter of raindrops against the window, listening to the shallow breathing of Kaneki Ken. My life consisted of waiting and waiting and even more waiting. I had been waiting for over six hours.

Waiting on him.

I was told Ken would be awake soon, the effects of the sleepy-gas wearing off soon, but soon wasn’t soon enough. My eyelids began drooping, my head leaning forward with sleepiness. I rested my arms on the side of the bed next to him, placing my head on them and just watching. Watching and waiting. 

Because that’s all I could do. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t stand, I could barely even breathe. I needed him to be okay…

What made everything worse was that I watched and waited in full color. A sight I didn’t deserve to see.

I felt a faint pressure on my hand, as soft as a butterfly. At first I believed it was only a figment of my imagination, my sleep-deprived mind playing tricks on me. But it continued to get tighter. And tighter. I finally perked up and almost fainted when I saw pale fingers tighten around my own.

“K-Kaneki…”

I watched in awe as the corners of his lips twisted into a coy smile.

“H-...Hey…” He muttered out, his throat clogged and groggy from not using it until now.

I stood up, tear pricking the corners of my eyes and falling down my cheeks. “Oh my God...Oh my God…” Was all I could mutter.

“Hide…”

“Kaneki...H-How are you feeling?” I managed out, my voice cracking on the last few words, but I didn’t care.

“My head hurts, my throat hurts, my hand hurts.” He motioned to the hand I was holding. Well, squeezing. It was an involuntary action. I let go of it with a silent laugh, a smile spread across my lips. 

He was okay.

At least, I thought so.

“That’s better. I guess…”

“Kaneki...You can see…” I stuttered through my tears.

“Well, not really, no. I don’t know if I-I’m the only one who hit my head or not, but as it turns out, I’m blind.” He didn’t understand.

Unfortunately, my throat was limited from speaking due to a major lump, which nearly restricted my breathing. I leaned over the bed, silently and gently taking off the bandages from his eyes, being extremely cautious of the scar on his head. His lids were sealed over his eyes, shut tightly, encasing his coal-colored eyes beneath the layer of skin. A deep red scar was made apparent over his left eye, which nearly confined its movement.

“Open your eyes…” I said slowly, with caution in my words. Kaneki hesitated, but did what I said. His eyes fluttered open slowly, one  slightly restricted because of the scarring gash over it. He squinted and looked around the room, his gaze skipping from the chair, to the window, to the bed, and finally to me.

He gasped.

“Wow…” He said slowly. Everything in this moment between us felt so surreal, as if it wasn’t happening. Felt as if it was all a dream, all a crazy, twisted, mirage that fate forced upon me. But it wasn’t. This was real. Kaneki was  _ looking  _ at me. I smiled, looking back at him.  _ Really  _ looking at him. His eyes had an all new vibrancy to them, revealing to me a whole new color, darker than his original eyes had been. And it was absolutely...breathtaking… 

“Well…” I said with a gentle laugh. “What do you think?” 

“It’s…” He said, as if trying to find the words to describe it. “...much more colorful than I remember…”

The words caught me off guard at first, then they sunk in. Slowly at first, then all together.  _ More colorful… _ I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know what to say! There weren’t enough words in the world to be pulled together into a comprehensible sentence to explain how I feel. After six, going on seven, years of loving him silently, loving him without him loving me back, it all ended with this one moment. This one moment had my new life in it, a new life of which I would spend with him, because  _ he sees the colors _ . The phrase felt strange to think, the only other time I knew it to be true was in my dreams, but now, my dreams had become a reality. 

Fate has a really fucked up way of doing things, but in the end, everything turned out the way it should be.

I decide that words weren’t for me, and that staring blankly at my love wouldn’t do any good, and with a silent  _ fuck it, _ I leaned in, and gave into temptation, taking Ken’s lips into mine. The second they connected, sparks flew, electricity sparked, fireworks exploded. This one connection was everything I had dreamed, and everything I had hoped it’d be. I knew my intentions were rash, and could possibly have a negative effect on Ken, but I just couldn’t pull myself away. I needed this one moment, even if it was selfish of me.

Kaneki kissed back, as if telling me that he returned my affection. He filled in every crack in my broken heart, made my blood flow again. He gave me back what I was deprived of for six years-love.  _ His  _ love. He poured it all into this kiss, as I did. I wanted him to know how much pain I went through just to be with him, and how much I loved every second of it.

_ No. _

I leaned away quickly, standing and taking a step away from him.

“I’m so sorry…” I said slowly, the words holding a heavy meaning behind them.

“H-Hide…”

“I shouldn’t be here…” 

“No.” He protested, an all new hard, stern sound behind the word.

“Why aren’t you mad at me, Ken? Why aren’t you just...seething with rage that I put you in this situation?” I asked, looking confused at him, staring deeply into his eyes, him staring right back at me. Kaneki sat up, propping himself meekly on his elbows.

“None of this was your fault, Hide.”

“Oh, really? None of this was my fault? Then who’s fault is it, Kaneki? Since you know  _ so  _ much ab-”

“It was  _ my  _ fault, you idiot.”

Silence.

“I was the one who ran out without my cane or anything. I was the one who slipped on the stairs. I was the one who ran away from it.” He finished, and the pain searing in his eyes killed me inside.

“But I was the reason you did all of that.” I protested.

He laughed, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t  _ care _ , Hide. I don’t care about that anymore.”

“How can you say that?”

“I can say that because it’s true. Everything is alright now, isn’t it?” 

“No, everything's  _ not  _ alright!” I cried, my voice breaking again. We looked to each other once more. “You’re not blind anymore, so look around you. Everything is falling apart… And it’s all my fault.”

“Why do you keep blaming yourself for all of this?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” SIlence fell over us. He was clearly taken aback by my sudden confession that I held hostage inside of me for the past six years. A hot tear glided gently down my cheek. “And I hate it.” I continued. “I love you, and I hate it. I hate that I love you. For six years, I’ve loved you. For six years, I fought back my feelings, fought back every single urge I had to confess because I didn’t want to ruin our relationship, because six years ago, I fell in love with the new, blind student in school. The  _ second  _ I saw him, I fell in love. The second I saw him, he showed me how colorful the world really can be, and ever since that day, I’ve loved that boy. And I still do. I love  _ you. _ And I hate it. I hate it because I could never make you as happy as you’ve made me. Instead, I just fuck everything up. Don’t you see? I don’t deserve you.”

Kaneki stood up from his bed, standing in front of me. He leaned up on his toes and wiped the tears from my cheeks with the swipe of his thumb, smiling ever so gently at me. In the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine again. They were soft, delicate, sweet, and fragile all at the same time. A combination that caused shivers to trail down my back.

“Maybe you do fuck everything up... But it’s not something that we won’t be able to fix together.” His voice was smooth, almost as a song, or a peaceful melody. His fingertips traced down my arms until they reached the palms of my hands, where they laced around and squeezed, gently. “But the worst part about it all...the truth that I’m the one not deserving of you. You risked everything to keep me happy, to protect me.” He smiled again. “But when I’m with you, I’m happy. I see the colors.”

I looked down at our hands and squeezed back.

“And, Hide?” My gaze met Ken’s, noticing the tears brimming in his eyes as well.

  
“I love you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH NO THIS IS NOT THE END AHAHAHDONTHATEMEPLEASEHAHA  
> Sorry this one is a bit late. I'm still really sick and I've been feeling lazy lately and a bit depressed, as my best friend is going away for a while.  
> But I'm doing alright.  
> I wanted to say thanks from the bottom of my heart for all the comments, the make me so much happier than you might think. I love you all <3  
> WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? STAY TUNED, KIDS! THIS ROLLER COASTER IS JUST STARTING!  
> ~E


	10. A Place To Call Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

Kaneki spent the rest of the night in the hospital under special treatment. He was given different pills and IV’s to help numb the pain and to help him sleep; his only request being that I was allowed to stay with him, which I was happily obliged to accept. He insisted my stay, although we both knew the doctors didn’t like me for the simple fact that I took off the bandages on Ken’s eyes, when he was supposed to wear them for another twenty four hours.

They put new bandages on.

It was a small price to pay, considering I was allowed to stay the night. Kaneki and I both found the news exciting, as if we were little kids who finally got acceptance to spend the night together. I, for one, was ecstatic about it. Despite the fact that we live together, and  _ literally  _ spend the night with each other every single night.

But tonight would be different.

Tonight would be the night that I got to spend with my true love, the two of us, actually together for the first time in our lives. It may not have been the way I dreamt it’d be, but it was perfect enough already. 

The last of the doctors came in and out of the room time to time, giving Ken and I no personal time for a while, until the last few doctors filed out, giving Kaneki the last few painkillers and sleeping medications.

I wasn’t quite sure what they were, but the second they were in, Kaneki could barely stay awake. Whatever it was, it was powerful.

I traced Kaneki’s hands, squeezing his fingertips gently. “You sleepy?” I asked, the moment the door closed behind the final doctor.

“Mm...Don’t wanna sleep yet…” He mumbled, struggling even to have enough energy to move his mouth.

“You need it, Ken. More than you might think.” I traced circles in the back of his hand involuntarily, his digits slowly, but surely wrapping around mine, meekly, returning my compassion.

“No...I want to spend time with you…There’s things...I want… to know…” He slurred his words before ultimately losing his struggled battle between himself and sleep.

“See you tomorrow…”  I spoke softly, although it wouldn’t matter. Ken was so sunken into sleep that he wouldn’t even notice a train rolling by, leaving me with nothing to do.

I studied him. The calmness of his sleeping face, the contours of lighting and shadows cascading his features, the white bandages over his eyes and around his head. I studied the pink and red scars lining and spotting his neck and face in various assortments. I studied his parted, pale lips, his chest rising and falling with every breath. In, and out. In, and out. And slowly, I was trapped in sleep, as well.

“Hide…Hide…” I woke softly to a few gentle shoves on my arm, and Ken’s voice calling sweetly out to me. I smiled, peering through semi-closed slits only to realize that the room we were left in had been dark, the first few streaks of sunlight not even reaching us yet.

“Mmm…” My throat muttered. Upon further inspection I saw that Ken was still in his same position, his body turned towards me, his hand still linked with mine.

I smiled.

“What are you doing up?” I asked raspily, my voice not quite used to being used this early.

There was a silence between us. Kaneki released my hand and gripped onto the sheets as well. A cool sensation overcame my palm from its recent vacancy.

“Can you take off my bandages? The ones over my eyes? I want to see you.”He finally said.

“The doctors are going to hate me even more now…” I retorted, reaching over the guardrail to gently peel the bandages off.

“I’ll take the blame...Besides, it was worth it.” He said dreamily, his eyes fluttering open and staring directly into mine. We sat there for what seemed like forever, just staring. Smiling.

But my happy smile soon turned into a frown of displeasure. 

“Ken… How can you be so sure that you...love me?” I asked, the word ‘love’ giving off a strange feeling to my lips.

He looked down shyly and blushed. “ I guess I’ve always had some sort of feelings for you. Maybe they were just locked away, too far for me to reach myself. But when you kissed me, and when I looked at you and saw the colors for the first time in my life, and when you told me you loved me, everything became clear.  _ Literally. _ It was like...you were the key, and those feelings weren’t locked up any more.”

“Ken, that’s-”

“Please, just...forget I said that.” He blushed and sat up, turning his head away from me, a small nearly inaudible gasp escaping his lips, probably because he wasn’t yet used to transitioning from color to dismal quite yet. His frail hands gripped relentlessly at the sheet covering his lower half. I stood and put a hand to his cheek, directing his gaze back towards me. He stared into my eyes, tears brimming and threatening to run out of his.

“Ken, that’s beautiful. It really is…” It was almost as if a magnetic force was pulling us together, because before either of us knew it, we were kissing again. I traced circles in his cheek with my thumb, feeling his smooth skin below my finger.

A hand pushed my chest back, forcing me to break apart from him.

“B-Before that...I need to ask you something..” Ken said, his gaze back to his hand on my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me about any of... _ this…? _ ”

I took a sharp breath in, holding it for a moment before deciding to speak. “The moment we met, I felt two things. I felt...comfort, home, safety. I felt love. But I also felt warmth, loyalty, friendship. Over time, both feelings grew strong. Every day I loved you more and more, and every day our friendship grew stronger and stronger. I didn’t want to break a bond like that and make you uncomfortable if you didn’t accept my feelings, so I stayed quiet, and eventually, one feeling overpowered the other. It was love. It was so strong that I didn’t want to be apart from you for ven a second, Ken. That’s why…” I took another breath and closed my eyes. “ That’s why I said what I did to Touka yesterday. Because I was... _ angry. _ Too overpowered and blinded by love to help anything. And look what happened…”

Kaneki smiled at me.  _ Why? _ I thought.  _ Why don’t you hate me? _ He put two fingers under my chin and tilted them up, so that our gazes were now connected once again.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be able to see.” He said calmly.

“So you  _ are _ blaming me for this.”

“N-No..That’s not what I meant, I was just-”

“I know, Kaneki. I know…” I sighed loudly and took a step back again, pacing next to his bed. I shook my head, looking back to Ken, where his position didn’t falter.

“Look, can we just forget about this? About anything that happened in the past twenty-four hours? Just for now? Go back to the way we used to be?” I asked, aggravated. I just wanted to go back to sleep, where my thoughts wouldn’t haunt me anymore. Where I could just disappear, even for a little while. I slumped back down into my seat, staring blankly at Kaneki, who was staring blankly back at me.

“...No. I don’t want to forget.” Ken spoke, a stoic look on his face, a look of all-new seriousness, as he took my hand in his.

“It’d be better for both of us.”

“Speak for yourself, Hide. But I’d like to remember the first time I could see since I was seven. The first time I could see in color. The first time I fell head over heels for somebody who I never thought I’d fall for, all in one night.”

I smiled at him. Maybe a slight chuckle even escaped my lips. i wasn’t quite sure exactly what was happening. Kaneki, my secret love, my best friend, my light, just told me that he had some sort of crazy feelings for me. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I did what every cliche love story tells you to do; speak from the heart.

“I love you.” I told him in full confidence.

“I love you, too…” He replied wistfully. 

Kaneki reached forward and placed his hands on my collar, pulling me close to his face, over the side of the rail. My hands found their way to his waist, as our foreheads met. We smiled.

“I heard what you said…” Ken spoke quietly.

“Hm?”

“After I fell, after you called the ambulance, I heard what you said. Before I passed out.”

I felt my cheeks get warm with embarrassment. I wanted to lean away, but Ken’s grasp was as stern as a deadbolt lock. He knew I had enough strength to push myself away if I needed to. I knew it was a test to see if I would, but when he was staring at me the way he was now, I was considered weak in his grasp.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I said.

“ ‘I’m so s-sorry, Ken! I l-l-love you!’ “ Kaneki mocked with a quiet laugh. At this point, I mustered enough strength to push away. I flopped back down in my seat, my forehead in my hand, hiding my red face and my embarrassed smile.

“No, no, no, come back. I was only joking.” He said through his laughter.

I shook my head. “And to think, I was  _ this close  _ to kissing you.” I looked up at him, making a gesture with my thumb and forefinger, a small gap between them to specify how close I was to actually kissing him.

“Aw, come back. I promise I won’t say anything else about it.”

I put out my pinky. He did the same, and we linked fingers. I smiled solemnly at him, and he returned a smirk, grabbed my hand, and pulled me closer again. Our lips met, and the world around us faded away into nothingness, just as it did every time I was with Ken. After our moment of bliss, he pulled away, but our foreheads were still together, neither of us wanting to stray too far away.

“Y’know… I actually thought it was kinda cute… “ He said with a smirk.

“You promised!” I said. “But I guess I’ll let that one slide…” I took his lips into mine once more, and at that moment, there wasn’t enough words in the world to describe how I felt with him, but one managed to slither its way into my mind; home. I felt so many things with Kaneki, but home was by far the strongest. It was something I’ve only ever felt when I was with him, something not even my own family could provide me. I never was able to enjoy the bliss of a mother’s love or a father’s warmth. I never was able to enjoy laughing and loving with my family. My family only provided a constant threat of beating and drinking if I didn’t do what was expected of me. “The  Mistake Child”, they called me when they thought I wasn’t listening. They ignored me, abused me, starved me, and worst of all, denied me of any love or compassion whatsoever.

But with Kaneki, I felt my broken heart heal, little by little. I felt warmth, safety, I felt at home. As if I belonged with him. As if he belonged with me. He made all of my pains melt away into nothingness, until I couldn’t feel them anymore. He knows what it’s like to be abused, neglected, stripped of love, yet he never fails to give me as much love as possible. He made me happy, he was my sunshine. And I made it my vow to protect him, to make his as happy as he’s made me.

“Hey...Hey, Ken…” I said, breaking our lips and staring into his big, beautiful coal eyes. “I love you.” The word ‘love’ left a lovely feeling deep in my heart, one that I didn’t know existed. It didn’t feel as distant anymore. It felt...inviting. Like a warm hug after a long day.

“I love you, too. So much…” He said, kissing the tip of my nose and squeezing my hands.

For the first time in my life, I felt at home. Like I was where I belonged.

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted. A place to call home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually want to apologize to you.  
> I'm so sorry if this chapter and the next few haven't been the best. I've been stressed out beyond comprehension for the past week, and because of that, I've felt so discouraged to write. I feel that everything I write is either crappy or boring, but I decided that I would post them anyway, just to keep the story going for you guys, because a lot of you seem to like it.  
> I'm so so sorry, everyone.  
> I promise I will try my best to keep on a schedule and to finish this story. As of now, I predict it will be sixteen chapters long, but that may change in the future.  
> Again, I apologize if my work seems off, or bad in any type of way. Please stay tuned.  
> ~E


	11. Released

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

Kaneki Ken and I spent the rest of our morning together, before the hospital came alive with business and bustling people. I was forced to put the bandages back on, my reluctance to having the doctor’s hate me growing too strong. So we sat there, talking, reliving memories, holding each other’s hand. Sometimes, if I was quiet for too long, Ken would shake me or call my name to make sure I wouldn’t fall asleep. And sometimes, I’d kiss him when he’d least expect it, half of me loving the feeling of him on my lips, the other half of me loving the small noise of surprise he made before kissing me back. It was bliss.

It was just minutes past dawn when the first doctor came in to run a few tests on Kaneki. Though reluctant, he obliged to taking Kaneki’s bandages off his eyes, finally letting me see his beautiful eyes again. He gave me side glances and skeptical gazes, but I only smiled back. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor gave us the OK to finally and thankfully pack our things and leave. As happy as I was to get out of that rotten place and take Kaneki back home where we could finally be together in peace, I was a bit stuck. I had ridden here in an ambulance with him, my car and our only means of transportation back at our apartment complex. I gave Ken a certain look of worry.

_ What’s wrong?  _ He mouthed.

I leaned in close to his ear. ”We don’t have a ride home. Here’s the plan; I’ll take a cab home and get our car and some dry clothes for you, and I’ll come back and get you. Alright?”

The doctor had a skeptical look to his face, an eyebrow raised in curiosity as to what we were whispering about. “Something the matter, boys?” he asked.

“No, sir. I’ll just be stepping out for a bit. I’ll be back to pick him up soon.” I said, standing up straight and looking him in the eye. He only sighed and looked away, probably relieved to have me leaving so soon.

“Be safe.” Kaneki whispered. 

“I’ll be back soon.” I leaned down once more and pecked his lips, then turned to leave, smiling and waving before I transitioned back to black and white. As I was walking out of the room, I heard a nearly inaudible gasp, as Ken wasn’t yet quite used to transitioning as much as I was. I laughed quietly, a smile spread across my lips as I walked outside, and called the taxi company.

 

I returned to the hospital in under thirty minutes, dry clothes for Kaneki and my car parked outside. I smiled at the woman sitting in the front desk, who greeted me with a smile as well. She had long, beautiful light hair (which I thought must’ve been brown) and big, beautiful eyes to match it. She wore her hair tied to the side, a flower clip holding it together.

“Hi, Miss. I’m Hide Nagachika, companion of Kaneki Ken? He’s supposed to be released today, I’m just coming to pick him up.” I said in my sweetest tone. She typed loudly away on her keyboard and nodded at me, a nod of approval. 

“Right back there, room-”

“207,” I cut her off. “I know.”

She smiled at me as I walked away, towards the beloved room 207, where Kaneki was. I was about to turn the knob to the door and walk in when I heard something that caught me by surprise.

Laughter.

It wasn’t just any laughter, it was a girl’s laughter. By the sound of it, it seemed to be of a young girl.

i placed a hand on the knob and twisted it slowly, and peered inside.

Kaneki was at his original place in bed, looking and laughing with a small girl standing at the guardrails. He gasped audibly as I walked into the room, his eyes transitioning back to color. 

The girl looked at him, confused. “Hm? What’s the matter?” She said, suddenly becoming concerned. The small girl followed Ken’s gaze, and they were both staring at me now. I smiled and gave a little wave.

“See, Hinami? This is the guy I was telling you about. Isn’t he handsome?” Kaneki said, his eyes now trained on the little girl called Hinami. She raced to me and gazed up at me. From the looks of it, she seemed to be about nine or ten years old. She wore bright, beautifully vibrant colors, and had shoulder length brown hair with a headband in, and brown eyes to match. She strangely resembled the woman I saw at the front desk, in an odd way. 

I lowered myself to her level, now kneeling in front of her so we could meet eye to eye. “Hi, there. I’m Hide,” I said with a friendly grin, “and what are you doing in here? Do you know Kaneki?”

She nodded her head. “My mommy works here. I was just saying hi.” She said quietly, probably a bit shy to be meeting me for the first time.

“Oh? So you know Kaneki?” I asked, genuinely confused.

The girl nodded, brown hair bobbing up and down. She raced back to Ken’s side again and held onto his hand, struggling to reach over the guard rail.

“I met Hinami here at the library. She’s really got a love for books.” Kaneki answered for me.

“Well there’s something you two have in common.” I replied, striding over to the other side oh Ken’s bed. Our gazes met and almost instantaneously, I fell into a trance. His eyes, now able to see the world I’ve been graced with for so long, looked even more beautiful than I’d ever seen. They seemed to have a certain sparkle, and when he looked at me, it caused shivers down my arms, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

“Do you like him?” Hinami’s voice was enough to break us out of our trance. Simultaneously, we looked to her and blushed, a deep rosy color.

“What makes you think that, Hinami?” I asked, trying to keep my cool.

“You look at each other the way my mommy used to look at my daddy.”

_ Used to. _

My grin faded, her choice of words ringing in the back of my head. Used to? Was her father dead? Was he gone? Killed? Taken?

“Yea. I do like him.” Kaneki said calmly, as if the question didn’t even bother him. He looked to me, taking hold of my hand. I smiled down at him, then back at the girl. She walked around the bed to where I was standing, and looked me dead in the eyes.

“Be nice to Brother.” Was all she said. Was all she had to say.

I kneeled down once again, a serious expression. “I will. I promise.”

She jutted out her pinky finger, as Ken had done the previous night when I made him promise not to make fun of me for what I said. I agreed, and locked my little finger with hers. She nodded just as her mother did when I first got here; a nod of approval.

“I have to go now. Mommy will be worried…” She said, and struggled and wriggled her way onto the bed and gave Ken a big hug.

“Alright, Hinami. Thanks for stopping by! It was good...seeing...you again.” He said his words with a careful tone, as if they were fragile, and would break if spoken incorrectly. They looked at each other and smiled, then Hinami leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss into the tip of Ken’s nose. “Get better soon, Brother!” She whispered, and Kaneki obliged. He kissed her forehead, and I could tell by his movements that he was reluctant to let her go.

She scurried out of the room, waving to us and yelling her goodbye’s from the doorway. 

I chuckled. “She’s cute. How’d you meet her?” I asked, my gaze connecting with Ken’s again.

“Her father used to work at the library. He always had a special order of braille books for when I was blind. Hinami always helped me pick out the best ones, and I guess we became friends since then.”

“What happened to her father?” 

Kaneki’s smile slowly slipped from his lips, a frown taking its place. His shoulders raised a bit in a half shrug, and his gaze scanned the room, eyebrows knitted in concentration. “I don’t know. One day he was here, the next day, he was just gone. Like he disappeared.” The sadness in his tone initially brought my mood down, and I soon became concerned.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that, Ken.” I gazed at our conjoined hands, rubbing small circles in the back of his with my thumb.

He shook his head in response and gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t be. I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Anyway, let’s get out of here. This place is starting to make me uncomfortable.”

I wanted to get him home the second he said that, the last thing I wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable. I gently kissed the top of his head. “Alright. I brought you some clothes, so I’ll give you your privacy. I need to go sign your release papers.” I turned to walk out, but Ken’s hand tightened around mine, restricting me from going any further. 

“You’re forgetting something.” He said with a smirk.

“Oh, how silly of me.” I replied, placing a hand on oh his cheek and guiding his lips to mine. Sparks flew and it felt as if fireworks were going off around us, like some sort of magic show, but I forced myself to let go, the urge to k=leave such a fowl place growing strong in the both of us. 

“Alright, no more until we get home. I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” I said looking around, and eventually making my way outside. I walked back up to the main desk where I found Hinami next to the lady I had originally seen.

“Look, Mommy! It’s the boy Brother was with!” The child cried to the lady at the front desk, which was her mother. I gave a meek smile and a shy wave. Hinami’s mother stuck out her hand for a handshake, and I followed suit.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr…”

“Just call me Hide, please. It’s nice to meet you, Miss Fueguchi.” I said, reading off of her nametag.

“Oh, please. Call me Ryouko. I’m Hinami’s mother.”

“So I heard.” My comment earned a laugh from the lady, who covered up her smile with her hand.

“I’m guessing you’re here to sign the release papers for Mr. Ken?” She asked rhetorically, pulling out a file folder and plopping down a double-sided piece of paper and a pen in front of me.

“Thanks.” I said, turning and sitting in a chair in the waiting room, and began filling out the form, taking it question and question at a time. It was a lot to fill out just to take somebody out of a hospital. I got around halfway through the paper when I stopped at a question that I didn’t quite know the answer to.

_ What is your relation to the patient? _

I smirked. Oh, the possibilities…

Then it hit me. What were Kaneki and I now? Now that my confession was out, and after so many shared kisses and memories, what were we?

I decided that would be a question for later, and just wrote down  _ significant other  _ on the line, and continued with the questions until I was finished.

 

The drive home was just as normal as about any other drive I’ve taken. Normal trees, sky, road, cars. Things I’m used to seeing on an everyday basis. But for Ken, the ride home was something new and exciting, like a child taking its first steps. After being trapped in a monotonous world for so long, the world seemed like utopia to him. He gasped at the wide variety of colors, and the vast landscapes ahead of us. His eyes lit up when we passed the ocean, his excitement getting the best of him from time to time. “Hide, look at this!” He’d shout from time to time, and I laughed along, thoroughly enjoying how happy seeing the world made him.

I promised him I’d take him on a drive to some of my favorite places, including the ocean, to make up for his birthday. The sheer bliss it brought him filled me with pure happiness and contentment.

Until we got home.

I dragged Ken up the stone stairs, trying to ignore the fact that he could’ve died right there, and led him inside the lobby. It was strangely empty for a Sunday afternoon, but that was besides the point. We took the elevator up to our floor, and before I knew what was happening, a woman came over to us, gushing over the bandages on Ken’s head and asking him question after question.

It was Kaneki’s mother.

She looked older than I remember, wrinkles lining her complexion, her height seemingly shrinking with age, her hair turning grey over the years.

“What happened? How did this happen? Are you alright?” She fired question after question, but Ken was too shocked to say anything, the first time seeing his mother in years, and in color, too.

“He’s alright, Miss. We just got back from the hospital.” I answered for him.

“Who…? Wh-Wh-” Was all Ken muttered.

“Kaneki, this is your mother. You’ll have to excuse him, it’s his first time actually  _ seeing  _ you in a long while.” I spoke with confidence, something that rarely ever happened.

“You mean his eyes…?” His mother looked to me.

I nodded. “He can see again.”

“Oh, it’s a miracle!” She cried, kissing Ken’s cheek. He giggled heartily, repeating the word “ _ Mother…” _ over and over again, as if the sight before him was too good to be true.

Not wanting to disrupt their little reunion, I went to unlock our door and peeking my head from the doorway, I asked, “Would you care to join us for coffee?”

They both looked to me. Kaneki’s mother nodded, and led Ken inside by the hand. 

Kaneki and his mother sat on the couch, complaining on and on about how she came here to wish Ken a happy birthday when neither of us were her, the door to our apartment left wide open. I went to the kitchen to begin brewing the coffee, trying my best to tune her out.

As much as I loved Ken, I couldn't help having negative feelings towards his mother. But I decided to tune that out as well.

Despite having seen the same place over twenty four hours ago, it seemed so surreal.  Almost as if I was in a dream. I felt as light as hair, a happy heart and a positive mind. I felt as if I was on top of the world. As if I was invincible.

That is, until, I heard a cacophony of voices coming from the living room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay this is REALLY late.  
> But it's here and sorry if it sucks. But whatever.  
> ANYWAY I'm feeling a lot better (thanks to a few certain people, you know who you are.) So THANKS SO MUCH I LOVE YOU.  
> *APOLOGIZING IN ADVANCE* There will e a delay in the next chapter and maybe the one after that. I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks and it might not be easy for me to post but I refuse to stop the story.  
> Lots of love to all of you!!!  
> WHAT WERE THE NOISES HIDE HEARD? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT! (sorry for another cliffhanger ;p)  
> ~E


	12. Horror At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are born in a colorless world, one with a plethora of assorted grays, whites, and blacks. A dull and colorless void that we are seemingly trapped in. A prison of our own, a prison of monotonous pigments, clouding our sight.  
> But all hope is not lost, for there is a way to leave this pointless void. A key to set you free to vivid colors, extraordinarily vibrant colors varying in all sorts of pigments. That key, is true love.  
> The moment you see your true love, you finally see the beautiful world in all it’s colorful glory. Your true love is the key to the prison, and they can take you to a whole new world, something new and exhilarating you’ve never seen before.   
> But alas, your true love may be your key to this wondrous sight, but the feelings may or may not be reciprocated. That someone, that key, may be your ticket to a brand new world of color and beauty, but it is possible that you are not that someone’s key to that world. Feelings can be one-sided, and those one-sided people dwell alone, remaining in their hopeless void of muted colors, never again to see the world of color.  
> At least, that’s what’s destined for me.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS HAPPENED?!” The words startled me at first, so much that I dropped the coffee pot, shattering it on the floor, glass and scalding coffee cascading the tile floor below me. I raced to the living room, where I came just in time to see Kaneki’s mother holding both of Ken’s hands in one of hers, such a face a terror on him, it made my stomach whirl. She brought an arm up above her head, her first in a tight ball.

“M-Mom, I-” She punched him straight in the mouth. The impact hit him so hard he fell to the floor with a loud crack, but Ken’s mother didn’t release her grip.

“HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?!” She cried, bringing her arm up again for round two. I acted quickly, stepping beside her and grabbing her wrist tightly just as she was about to bring it down again. I glanced briefly at Ken, his eyes closed, bracing for impact, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, running down his clean shirt and inevitably staining it.

“Let him go.” I said through gritted teeth. She stared angrily at me, fire burning in her eyes. 

“LET HIM GO, NOW!” My voice boomed, my blood boiling hotter and hotter by the second. In less than a moment, her hands were off of Ken, and on my neck, restricting my air flow. I choked and gasped for air, only a little passing her grip.

“You did this…” She said resentfully, pushing me fiercely against the wall, her hands moving like a boa constrictor. My body slammed against the wall so hard, you could feel the vibrations through the floorboard. The corners of my eyes were growing darker and darker by the second, eventually growing and growing until the darkness encased me. I was about to face my inevitable doom.

“N-No!” Kaneki shouted, standing up, having to stable himself on the couch.

His mother was caught off guard, her grip loosening. “ _ No?”  _ She said, her words sounding like knives and daggers.

“D-Don’t touch him! It was my fault!” Kaneki pressed on. It seemed as if my silent pleads for him to shut up didn’t get across. 

Her hands dropped from my neck. I fell to the floor on my hands and knees, gasping relentlessly for a breath of air, my lungs filling to the brim and exhaling quickly with such a sweet sensation.

_ SLAP! _

“Don’t you  _ ever  _ talk back to your mother!” She said, so much anger behind her voice I was surprised she wasn’t billowing smoke from her ears.

I looked up to find Ken on the ground again at his mother’s feet, holding his left cheek, fingers tracing delicately over the scar on his left eyelid.

I gathered up my anger and converted it to strength. I stood and instantly lunged at the woman, turning her around by her shoulders. I took both of her wrists into my hands, my grip just as fierce as hers.

“How  _ dare  _ you treat him like this. How  _ dare  _ you come into  _ our  _ house and abuse him like this. It was my fucking fault he’s like this. So if you dare lay so much as a fucking  _ finger  _ on him, so help me, I won’t be afraid to come after you. I don’t care if you are his mother. You. Will. Not. Touch. Him.” I threw her hands, glaring angrily into her deep black eyes that resembled Ken’s so much, it was insane.

“Who do you think you are?” She spit back at me with distaste.

“Hideyoshi Nagachika. Your son’s boyfriend, and the owner of this house. And I want you  _ out of it.” _

She stared at me as if I just killed her puppy, her eyes wide and staring into mine, her body so overcome by shock to say or do anything else.

“ _ Now.”  _ I bellowed. Ken’s mother gave me one, long look of absolute  _ resentment _ before turning and walking out the door, slamming it closed behind her. The sound echoed throughout the complex, but I was just glad she was gone.

Kaneki was sitting up, his back pressed against the wall for support. Despite the blood pouring from his nose and mouth and the otherwise pale skin turning strawberry red with the outlines of a handprint, he watched with wide eyes and gaping mouth.

“H-Hide…”

I knelt down beside him, inspecting his injuries. The scar on his eye seemed to be alright, his nose wasn’t broken, only bruised, and none of his teeth were knocked out. I took a tissue from the table beside the couch, and gently began to clean up the blood.

“I’m sorry, Ken…” I said, now having the moment to fully rethink everything I had just said and did, and to the woman who gave Kaneki life. If it wasn’t for her, Ken wouldn’t even be here. I couldn’t even begin to imagine my life without him, yet I yelled at the woman who gave him life.

“Thank you.” Was all he said. “She needed to hear that.”

He put a hand on my face, which nearly compelled me to kiss him, but I restrained from doing so, in fear that he’d recoil in pain.

“I hate that she did that to you…” I said, dabbing away at the blood, slowly and gently. The air between us was quiet, his eyes trailing over my face, taking in all my features. I focused mainly on getting him cleaned up, but I couldn’t help my eyes from roaming either. Ken’s silence worried me. The way he would look around me but not directly into my eyes, the way he seemed to cower under my touch hinted that something was going on. Something that he didn’t want to tell me.

Three tissues and a lot of blood and silence later, his face was clean and free from any visual evidence of the incident that just happened, except his nose and cheek were starting to bruise just the slightest.

“Hey, look at me.” I said in a calm voice. He was hesitant, but did what I requested. “That’s not the first time she’s done something like that, is it?”

Tears instantly brimmed in his eyes, threatening to fall and glide down his face. His lips curled in a cringe, as if he was feeling pain, or distress. His eyes locked on the floor as he shook his head, tears dotting the ground below us one by one.

I dropped the blood-soaked tissues and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. His head fit comfortably, gently beneath my chin, as if our bodies were made for each other. I felt as warm tears glided from his face and onto the fabric of my shirt. His hands gripped at my chest, the fabric of it clutched tightly in his hands. His silent cries were now audible.

“It’s okay, Ken...It’s okay…” I said, kissing the top of his head.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t tell you… I was… I was so scared!” He cried through his tears. The sound was so defeated, so lost and helpless. So beaten down and destroyed, that I soon couldn’t help my own tears from forming.

“Sh, Ken. It’s alright. I’m not angry at you, it’s okay.” I prayed that my voice would hold out. I couldn’t sound weak. Kaneki needed me to be strong, and that’s what I was going to be. For him.

“I d-don’t want to be afraid anymore…” He whimpered helplessly into my chest.

“And you won’t be. I promise you, I won’t let anything happen to you.” I brought his chin up with a gentle touch of my finger, our eyes meeting once again.

_ God he’s so beautiful…  _

“We’ll get through this. Together. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

“P-promise…?”

I stuck out my pinky just like I had done at the hospital, just like I had done with Hinami. Smiling shyly, he accepted the gesture, locking his little finger with mine, a firm grip.

I wiped a few tears from his eyes.

“Look at us,” I said with a comforting laugh, “we’re a mess.”

Kaneki looked down and realized what I had meant. Blood had fallen onto his shirt, creating deep red streaks against the white of the fabric. Tears stained both of our clothes, and I was sure I smelled of hospitals and desperation. But neither of us really cared.

Then it all hit me.

Just yesterday, we were sitting right here in front of the windowsill, watching rain pitter patter against the window. Just yesterday, I was standing with the love of my life, the love who couldn’t see anything but black. Just yesterday, I made the biggest mistake of my life, and just yesterday, that mistake caused my love pain. Just yesterday I was convinced he was dead, never to return to me, and just yesterday, he came back. Just yesterday, he could finally see, and just yesterday he could see what I saw. Just yesterday, I confessed my six-going-on-seven year long love for my best friend. Just yesterday I was able to tell him I loved him, and just yesterday, he reciprocated my feelings.

Just yesterday, my life changed monumentally.

“How about we go get cleaned up, and meet back here for a movie?” I asked, taking Ken’s, hand in mine and holding it thoughtfully. He nodded sadly, a weak smile spread across his lips. I stood, pulling him up with me. Together, we walked hand in hand through the hallway and into Ken’s room, where I gave him one last kiss before returning to mine.

It felt so strange, stepping into a place so familiar to me after just one long day. The place reminded me of myself, my scent, my clothes, my music, all of it. Yet it felt so distant, as if it almost didn’t belong to me. As if the space I lived in wasn’t my own.

I shook my head. I’d had a long day. My mind was probably getting to me.

After cleaning myself up and running a comb through my ruffled hair, I stepped into the living room, only to be greeted by a wondrous burst of color.

“Hide! Check this out! There’s so many shows on TV!” Kaneki sat on his side of the couch, scrolling up and down every channel, exploring every channel’s attributes and what it had to offer. His eyes were wide and wild with excitement, trained solely on the blaring television in front of him. His face lit up like a child’s on Christmas day.

“Cool, isn’t it?” I asked, joining him in my place on the couch.

“Hey, Hide? What was my favorite movie?” He questioned me, not even bothering to let his eyes stray from the television for even a second.

“Hm… I don’t really know. You basically loved anything that had sound.” I replied, looking at him. His complexion seemed to glow in a way I had never noticed before. His eyes seemed to sparkle, his face seemed brighter, his hair seemed shinier. It was all like magic.

Ken paused on a cooking channel, stopping to see with amazement as people dashed around a kitchen maniacally, in search for ingredients for a specific dessert..

“This looks interesting…” Kaneki mumbled, his head falling to my shoulder without failing to look from the television. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his coal hair, ruffling it with my nose. Ken snuggled up to me, clinging to me as if I were his last source of warmth.

Honestly, it was really fucking adorable.

Suddenly and without warning, a strong sense of nostalgia hit me. 

No, a memory. 

It was the night I was accepted the job at the coffee shop. I came home giddy and excited to tell Ken the good news. We decided to stay in and watch a movie together, and we ended up like we are now; Kaneki’s head on my shoulder, the television blasting ahead of us. It seemed so distant, as if it were something that had happened ages ago, something that was to be long forgotten by now. 

A gentle tug on my hand was able to pull me out of my head.

“I love you.” Was all Kaneki said, his words just barely audible above the TV.

“I love you, too, Ken.” I replied, as simple as that.

But it wasn’t simple.

The words had meaning behind them. They weren’t plastic, or stiff, or forced. They were real. A true feeling I felt from the bottom of my heart all the way to the top, a feeling that affected every fiber of my being. A feeling that the both of us had been neglected from for far too long, a feeling that we both rightfully deserved, but had been snatched from our grasps. But now, we were free to feel it.

Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so sorry I wanted to post sooner but I went on vacation in a place with no wifi, so I couldn't. But on the bright side I wrote a lot while on that trip. I've started two other stories that I may or may not be posting to Archive, but I've also been writing this one. And a few nights ago, I made a big change in this story, one that's going to affect how it ends. (Actually I'm still thinking about it)  
> But aside from that, I just wanted to say, yet again, I love all of you. And I hope you are all doing well.  
> I honestly hope nobody is getting bored with this story.   
> ~E
> 
> P.S. I've started making chapters longer now, and because of that, posts may or may not be delayed.


	13. Trip To The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little trip to the beach. No angst at all. Psh there's TOTALLY not any angst. None. At all.

I didn’t remember falling asleep that night, but I’ll never forget waking up the following morning.  
Leisurely, as if all the time in the world belonged to me, I allowed my eyelids to flutter open. I blinked a few times, giving my weary eyes a few seconds to adjust. I glanced around the living room, streaks of pale, golden-white morning sunlight dancing and fluttering through half-closed blinds, sparatically striping the room before us. Separate rays of gleaming light bounced and glared off of the glass of our coffee table and television cascading reflected patterns of art along the walls. Outside, birds sang to their hearts content, jumping and leaping freely from branch to branch. Wind billowed gently, causing the bare branches of December to dance softly in its motions. The room had a new type of feeling to it, one that I longed to stay in.  
A certain familiar warmth was pressed into my side, a familiar head perched comfortably to my shoulder. I tuned out the blaring television and the seemingly senseless humming of the birds outside, and focused only on the gentle breaths of my companion, the easy rise of his chest with every inhale, and the every fall with every exhale.  
If I were a poet, I’d write countless poems about this moment, capturing its beauty only in my words.  
If I were an artist, I’d paint this early morning scenery, keeping it with me forever.  
If I were a photographer, I’d capture this moment with one click of a button, and hold it near to my heart.  
But for the time being, memory of such a blissful and perfect morning was enough for me. I felt content, happy, enjoying such calmness in a usual hectic environment.  
It was almost as if we were in the eye of a storm.  
“Mm...Hide, turn off the sun…” Kaneki garbled form his still sleepy state. I was a bit surprised by his sudden outburst, but all the more happy to see him awake, and generally alive for that matter.  
“I can go shut the blinds?” I suggested, though doing so would require shutting out such a wonderful scene before me.  
But if it meant Ken’s contentment, then so be it.  
“Mmmm…” He groaned hoarsely, “Mm-mm. You’re warm. I don’t want you to get up…”  
“Well I’m gonna have to if you still wanna go sightseeing today.”  
His arms wrapped around my waist, and if I haven’t already melted in his grasp by now, I sure as hell have now.  
“Just a few more minutes…” He mumbled, and I guess I had no other choice but to allow it.  
“I like you…” Ken said, sounding either drunk or high or somewhere in between, it was almost laughable.  
“Is that so?” i asked. I felt his head move up and down on my chest, a nod. “Well I like you, too.”  
Kaneki gave me the most pathetic “Hooray,” I’d ever heard, and proceeded to fall back asleep, and I, too, began to doze off. I caught myself nodding off, stopping myself from being completely taken by sleep. With an all-new stealthiness, I managed to slip myself out of Ken’s grip, initially freeing me from his normally tight embrace. I took his head gently in my hands, placing it attentively on a cushion below him, making sure to keep from harming his injury.  
I took on long look at him, before turning and walking into the kitchen, a world of assorted grays ahead of me. I decided it’d be best to cook him an I’m-sorry-you-almost-died-on-your-birthday breakfast before we headed out to go sightseeing, but I didn’t end up getting very far when a familiar pair of arms snaked around my waist.  
“You left…” He said into my ear, his breath dancing across the back of my neck as he leaned his head on my shoulder.  
“Do you wanna go sightseeing or not?” I replied.  
He hesitated, making a low groaning sound with his voice, before finally agreeing with me.  
“How does your head feel?” I questioned, cracking two eggs into a frying pan.  
“Better.” Was his only reply, and at that moment, I knew he was lying.  
I turned to face him, his arms still holding me by the waist. The morning light gave me a good chance to look directly at his face. His normally beautifully vibrant and full-of-life eyes looked bloodshot, his left scar caked with dried blood, restricting his eye’s potential movement. A slight purple bruise was beginning to show up on his jawline where his treacherous mother had hit him. There was even a small cut on his lip (which I made sure to keep in mind the next time I kissed him).  
“Maybe we shouldn’t go today… You need to rest a bit more.” I planted my hand on the side of his head, making sure not to harm his injuries. My thumb grazed his bruised jawline gently, wary not to hurt him.  
“No!” He protested. “I wanna go. I’m fine!”  
I pressed a finger to his temple, and he immediately flinched, a sign that it was probably not the best idea to leave the house in the first place.  
“Nope. Go lay down. We’re not going.”  
“Come on, Hide! You promised! Please don’t break your promise…” He put his forehead to mine, and gave me the saddest, most devastated look I’d ever seen on a human-being.  
“Look at you, Ken. You’ve barely had enough time to recover. What would I do if something were to happen to you?” Kaneki saw the worry in my eyes, even being able to hear it in my voice. In an attempt at reassurance, he took my hand in both of his, pressing it to his chest. Beneath his normally frail complexion and his (terrifyingly worrying) protruding ribs, I felt the gentle monotonous thump thump of his heart.  
“See?” He asked. “It’s still beating. And as long as it’s beating, then everything will be alright, won’t it?”  
I shook my head, giving off a little smirk. “No, Kaneki. You could be falling apart at the seams. You could be broken down, or you could be torn into a million pieces. You could be bleeding and crying out, but it’ll still beat. It’ll beat and beat no matter what kind of pain you’re in, it’ll still keep going. And that’s what makes it so painful.” I turned from him, focusing mainly on cooking now. “Because eventually...it’ll kill you. You’ll think you’re alright, because it’s still going. But really, the pain builds up. And guess what?”  
“...It keeps going…” Ken finished for me.  
I faced him again, nearly going blind from transitioning back to color so quickly. I gently caressed his cheek, seeing the sorrow in his eyes filled me with grief, but I knew I had to be strong.  
“Look, I want the world for you. But I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt again because of me.”  
He stood still, his eyes filled with pain, his brows knitted in concentration.  
“I’m sorry.” I said in an obviously failed attempt to raise his spirits.  
I leaned on my toes, pressing a butterfly kiss into his unkempt pure black hair. “You should go lay down. You need time to recover.” I said, turning back to black and white and putting my attention on my cooking. I heard him sigh, a mumbled phrase spoken under his breath. He did as I said and went to his room, his door shutting with a gentle click.  
Instantly, I felt contrite about telling him no. After seven long years of being confined to such solitude in a world that had so much more to offer, he was finally freed from his own prison. He was finally able to enjoy the sights that everyone else was able to enjoy, and who was I to deny him those sights? Who was I to confine him to a locked room in a boring apartment? Who was I to deny him the only thing he’s ever wanted, the thing he lost for seven years, and finally gotten it back?  
A monster, is what I was.  
With an obviously audible sigh, I walked to his room, knocking gently on his door.  
“Ken? Can I come in?” I questioned.  
“Sure.” Was my response.  
I opened the door, and found him burrowed in his blue and gray striped comforter. His eyes were closed, his hair ruffled and matted against his pillow. I sat on the edge of his bed, suddenly finding it arduous to jump wrap up in the warmth of the blanket, laying with him in my arms for the rest of the day.  
“So...You really wanna go, don’t you?” I asked.  
There was an inconsequential hesitation, a slight slur of an agreeing sound heard from under the mass of blankets.  
“Get dressed. I’ll take you.”  
I smiled, watching him sit up and stare at me with wide eyes, as if he were a kid at a candy store.  
“Really?” He asked, and before I even had time to answer, he lunged at me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me close. The force of impact and his weight was enough to knock me flat on my back. With a light laugh, I returned his gesture of thankfulness, steadying him above me by putting my hands on his hips securely.  
“Easy now, don’t hurt yourself.” I spoke.  
He looked up at me, propping himself up above me, his hands placed either side of my head for support. His gaze burned into mine, his smile seemingly contagious.  
“Thank you, Hide!” He cried.  
“Hurry up, your food’s getting cold.”  
He nuzzled my nose with his, then leaned down to kiss me, our lips connecting and sending a sweet sensation spiraling through my system.  
“Wait. Don’t move…” I said, looking up at him once more.  
His eyes locked into mine, a bit of concern hidden inside.  
“What?” He asked, curiously, an unsettled look to him.  
“Nothing,” I replied simply, pushing a stray strand of black hair out of his face. “You just look so beautiful.”  
“You idiot…” He responded, a blush tinting his cheeks at my remark, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He let out a giggle that seemed to have potential to cure all sadness. I tugged ever so gently on his hair, finding him utterly irresistible in every way possible. He followed my gestures, kissing me softly and slowly. I sighed happily, my fingers subconsciously tangling and weaving through strands of silky black hair, letting it fall and slip between my grasp. My lungs screamed for air, but my lips wanted to stay. Kaneki lingered, his lips moving away from mine so painstakingly slow, I was left with no choice but to bring him back for one more kiss.  
“I love you…” He whispered, his voice barely audible, but loud enough to be heard due to our close proximity.  
“I love you more.” I retorted, too taken away by how breathtakingly beautiful Ken looked to notice the thick drop of blood clinging helplessly to the re-opened scar on his lip. With a swipe of my thumb, it disappeared, only to form again within mere seconds. The slight motion of my thumb on the scar caused him to wince just the slightest.  
“You’re right… I guess I am the idiot.”  
But he only laughed.

I decided to bring him to the ocean first, as it was always such a special place to me.  
The day was extraordinarily beautiful, the sky such a brilliant blue, not a cloud to be seen. The sun shone mercilessly, creating a warm, delightful atmosphere. The ocean was a breathtaking sapphire, lapping up the bottom of the beach wave after restless wave. The sand fell into golden-white hills, being tossed and blown by a gentle wind. Birds in the distance sang a song of joy, each different and with their own tune of happiness.  
It was such a beautiful day, and to be spent with a beautiful person.  
Except I wasn’t so sure that Ken felt the same way.  
Just about every little noise seemed to frighten him. He clung to my arm as if it was his only tether to stability, as if he would blow away from me if he were to let go.  
But his attitude changed completely the moment he saw the ocean, the rushing water glinting in the early afternoon sunlight. He stared at it with wide, curious eyes, that sparkled and glimmered like the stars.  
“That, Kaneki, is the ocean.” I said, glancing down at him. He didn’t even bother to peel his eyes from the sight, his arms involuntarily squeezing my arm, possibly from fright, or maybe from overwhelming wonder or curiosity. He made an understanding groan, too entranced to even speak  
“Would you wanna go closer? It’s just water, it won’t hurt you.” I took his silence as my cue to lead him. I walked him to the edge of the beach, the waves only feet in front of us.  
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen it…” He muttered, his grip restricting my arm growing looser and looser by the second.  
“Do you remember much about it?”  
He shook his head.  
“Y’know...I took you here for a reason.” He looked to me, our gazes connecting, his eyes glistening with questionable interest. I looked to the ocean, and I swore for a second I was reliving the memory of when i first spoke to Ken, nearly six years ago.  
“It’s where we first met,” I finally said, “it’s where our journey began.”

 _“My name’s Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide if you want.”_  
_“I-I’m Kaneki Ken…”_  
_“Kaneki Ken...That’s too long. I’ll just call you Kaneki. Is that alright?”_  
_He nodded. A smile._

The memory was so vivid, I was able to see the evening sun set over the glassy water, the grass beneath our feet as we both stayed a safe distance away from the water, possibly from fear that our parents would be angry if we got too close. I was even able to hear our voices, our words spoken carelessly, and just thrown about like ragdolls.  
“Thank you, Hide.” Ken spoke. I looked at him, gently kissing his lips with utmost carefulness.  
“Ken, I love you.”  
“I love you.” He said, kissing my cheek. “You know…” He continued, his cheeks beginning to brush with a slight pink tint of embarrassment, “I’ve never been in the ocean before.”  
I looked to him, my brows knitting in puzzlement, eyes full of confusion. It caught me by surprise to think that for eighteen years he’s lived near here, and not once has he ever stepped foot into the ocean, to feel the waves pulsating against your skin, or allow the coolness of the water chill your skin in comparison to the warmth of the air around you. It was absurd to think that he’s never had a sensation quite like that before, and I smirked at that thought.  
Hastily, I shrugged off my jacket and kicked off my shoes, beginning to run towards the water. I stopped, turning to shout, “Last one in has to drive home!” And skipped off towards the ocean, laughing and pretending not to hear the pointless protests of my companion. I stepped on foot in the freezing cold winter water, feeling the shivers trail up my spine, but I pressed forward.  
I was up to my ankles when I turned around to find Ken standing at the edge, where the water met the golden, beachy sand.  
“Are you really gonna make me do this?” He asked.  
I nodded, and before he could object, I grabbed his wrist and yanked him into the ocean. He stumbled a bit, grabbing my shoulder to stable himself.  
He let out a small whimper. “Ah! H-Hide! W-W-Why?!”  
Kaneki shoved me away playfully, cupping water his hands and collectively throwing it at me.  
I’ve had my share of water fights in the past, so I was able to dodge the attack unscathed.  
His frustration was risible.  
I ended up returning the favor, but he managed to dodge it as well, only allowing a few drops to land on him.  
This continued on for another few minutes, until we were both somewhat physically drained and panting, the crisp bandages wrapped on his head to the brink of falling off. I knew I’d have to replace them when we got home.  
“Okay… You win. I’ll drive home.” I surrendered. (Though I did end up winning our little game…not that anyone’s counting, though.)  
He nodded confidently, as if he had just been awarded a medal. He wrapped his arms over his chest, his jaw chattering with the coolness of the water. I motioned towards the land, and Ken followed suit, more than ready to leave the the frigid water.  
I noticed that his skin was much paler than usual, and concluded that it was because he was cold. His lips turned a slight gray color and his eyes seemed hazed. In a small state of worry, I threw my jacket over his shoulders to conserve his warmth, and slid my shoes back on. Kaneki seemed to be zoned out, as if he was in another dimension.  
But he would be alright...wouldn’t he?  
I was wrong…  
We started to make our way to the car when he mumbled what sounded like the first few sounds of my name. Inconsequentially, I looked over to find him lean his body against mine, trying and ultimately failing to grab my sleeve or my hand for support. He collapsed, doubling over onto the ground, but I managed to catch him in time before he fell. I lowered him gently to the ground and supported his weight.  
“Fuck...Kaneki!” I gasped, turning him over delicately, only to see a blank, lifeless expression on his face.  
“Oh my god...Oh my god no what have I done?!” My nerves were going insane, my mind and heart racing so fast I felt that I, too, was going to collapse.  
Immediately, I checked for a pulse, only to find (to my amazement) his normal heartbeat, identical to the heart beat I felt this morning.  
But that didn’t mean he was okay.  
For a few long moments that was an eerie silence lingering around me before a barely audible groan could be heard from the back of Ken’s throat.  
_He’s not dead…_ I thought. _Just tired…_  
I didn’t know I had been holding my breath until my lungs burned for air again. I let out a long sigh of relief, but to my displeasure, I was unable to move, as if my body had been stuck. I felt my hands begin to tremble and my lip began to quiver. My eyes turned blurry and I knew I was on the edge of tears.  
That is until Kaneki opened his eyes just enough to peer through at me. There was a slight pull on one corner of his lips that I made out to be a smile. And as if by magic, that one, weak, half-hearted smile was enough to help me not only stand securely on my own two feet, but also give me the strength to carry him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a while. I missed you guys, and I definitely missed writing this.  
> I have an idea of where I want this to go, but I'm not sure of how to do it. I guess I'll just think about that later.  
> While I was gone, I got into Yuri!!! On Ice and Voltron and who knows maybe I'm working on a few things for those as well?????  
> I'm always open to feedback, and thank you guys for reading. Hope you enjoyed!  
> ~E

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH it's finally out!  
> I've been working on this for months and was originally gonna post it in a few weeks once I finished the whole series, but I just couldn't wait! I was too excited. Though I probably should've because I haven't quite finished the series, but oh well. It's out now.  
> I really hope you all enjoy this, as there is SO MUCH more to come in this series! I will be posting a new chapter every week!  
> (This is my original work.)  
> ~E


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